The Library
by EuphoniumGurl0
Summary: He wanted to rip her apart. He wanted to tear the knowing smile from her face and swallow it whole. Each night Severus spent in the library with the new Gryffindor was a night he had to restrain himself. She was a fool for straying from her pack.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or things you may recognize from the Harry Potter series.

Pairing: SS/HG with mention of HG/RL and JP/LE

Rating: Rating is now T because I decided that it wasn't appropriate for this story to escalate to an M for sexual situations, though it will in the sequel most likely.

Warnings: Character death, Deatheater Meetings, minor battle scenes

Spoilers: Post half blood prince.

Authors Note: Yeah. This is a sort of time turner fic. It's in Severus's point of view. It will get a little dark, though not too badly. I've decided to postpone the other fic I was gonna do that's Hermione/Remus and the other Hermione/Draco one because this one hit me.

Edit: Thanks to my LOVELY and beautiful beta DJStroake from Granger Enchanted (dot com for anyone who wants to visit). All the chapters are now being replaced with gramatically correct ones. I like to think that I'm perfect, but she catches all my little durrrrrrrr moments.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1:

For once in his life, he told himself not to question things. He would not wonder why he was doing what he was doing, feeling what he was feeling, or acting the way he was acting. For once in his life, Severus would ignore all the mumbling that was going on about this turn of events. For once in his life, he would not suspect that he was not being told the truth and investigate this possible deceit. For once in his young life, he'd live without question. At least on this subject, that looked like it served no importance to him.

A new student had arrived mid-year. Scanning Hogwarts: A History had been no help at all to him on this matter. Of course, he already basically had the whole book memorized. Quoting it would be an easy task for him. He simply thought that he had overlooked any mention of transfer students or any student at all being admitted after first year, let alone it being a seventh year. He hadn't. This really was a first in Hogwarts history. The new transfer student had arrived that morning.

He chose not to stare at her, as if she was an outer worldly being or some kind of half-breed creature. The rest of the school was doing that enough for him. He only needed one glance at her to memorize every feature she had. He could recount the exact number of freckles around her nose, her bright, _happy_ brown eyes, her cluttered auburn hair, running down just above mid back. Why he even bothered to know that, he didn't know. He didn't care about her. She was a bloody Gryffindor.

_Another **bloody **Gryffindor_.

He wanted to kill them all. They were all senseless to the point of risking their lives for trivial things. They were so overprotective, that they probably killed each other out of frustration. They were lazy, unintelligent, skiving rabble. And what made it that much worse for him was that each and every single one of them had a better chance of getting jobs they wanted and living comfortably just because they were '_noble_' Gryffindors. He almost snorted at the thought.

Sirius Black and James Potter were the worst of them. If ever any two people deserved to get theirs, it was them. After all the crude, vulgar insults he had been on the end of, he was only one step from using Unforgivable curses on them. He wasn't the defenseless boy he used to be. For months now, he had been training with the Deatheaters. Having received his mark just before school began, he was prepared for anything the two idiots had to say. He could take both of them on now, and they couldn't do _anything_. Not only did he know the wide array of dark curses he had been taught, but he had made up a few of his own. He only hoped nobody else knew of them.

He had made an elementary mistake last term of losing his N.E.W.T sixth year Potions book. He had jotted down revised versions of all of the Potions. Obviously, the author wasn't as proficient at Potions as he was believed to be. The revisions weren't what he was paranoid of being read. He had spells in there- spells that would get him thrown in Azkaban, spells that would get him _killed_.

He ignored the boy next to him trying to get attention, chancing another glance at this new girl. Hermione Granger. What an interesting name. It was certainly not a known wizarding surname, though. She must have either been a half-blood or a Mudblood. He snapped out of his wonderings about her heritage. He told himself not to be bothered with finding out anything about her. Not that he could now anyway. His relationship with her was already decided before he could even think about it for himself.

She was sitting between Evans and Lupin, across from Potter and Black. Pettigrew was nowhere to be seen. The sniveling fool was probably trying to kiss up to someone. Granger girl was already smiling and laughing with the dimwits. He didn't mind Evans as much anymore. She had proven herself to be an intelligent Mudblood with interesting views. He almost felt a bit bad when he realized he had messed up too badly in the past years to try and forge any sort of alliance with her. That coupled with her growing return of feelings for _bloody_ Potter sealed the deal.

"How may I help you, Trevors?" Severus practically barked, a sneer crossing his thin lips as he finally turned to give into the group of Slytherins that had been trying to get his attention for the past few minutes now.

"We were just wondering if you'd like to join us for Quidditch after dinner." The brown-haired boy asked him in a neutral tone that conveyed no emotions.

"And why would I bother to do that?" He countered. His voice had lost the annoyance and showed no emotion, just as the boy he was talking to. That was Slytherin protocol. No emotion other than negative one.

"Because you refused once again this year to go for the team. As captain, I insist that you change your mind." Blake Trevors demanded.

Severus's sneer returned to his face. "You can insist if you wish. It will do nothing for your purpose. You have a capable seeker with all limbs in tact as of current time."

"He will not be that way for much longer if he doesn't catch the snitch one more time. We beat Hufflepuff because I am an amazing Chaser. We almost lost because that fool third year can't catch the damned ball. You will take over, Snape." His tone was now slightly raised, anger protruding.

"I refuse." Severus simply replied, his voice lowered back to its normal level. "I'm leaving. Good evening, gentlemen." He stood up and made his way through the Great Hall.

He couldn't help but look at the sky as he walked the long distance across the hall to the large double doors. They were shining fearlessly. Each star emitted a sort of glow that rivaled the one next to it. It was as if they were having a competition, each trying to outdo the other. They had such power… more power than any Divination fool or half-breed Centaur could give them credit for. They were simply amazing.

He returned his attention forward, once he had reached the doors. Stepping outside, he turned his direction of travel away from his usual one to the Slytherin Common Room and took another familiar trek to the library. It was a Friday night, but Severus had already completed his homework. There wasn't any sense in trying to procrastinate a week's worth of homework into a weekend when it could be done in bits and pieces, leaving two free days for relaxation. His reason for going to the library was for pleasure, not business. But before he could even set foot onto the staircase, he felt a presence behind him.

It was Granger. He didn't know why he had such an odd reaction when he first saw her that morning. He had to convince himself again and again that it was for no reason. He didn't like not being in control. Controlling emotions was always an easy task for him, but the arrival of this girl struck up many emotions he couldn't place. It all started when she had looked into his eyes.

Why would she do it? The look in her eyes still peeved him to no extent. She looked almost relieved when his eyes met hers. He couldn't help a flash of curiosity and the feeling of wind being knocked out of him before he set his expressions to stone, trying to mask the feelings she had for some reason ignited. Why would this little Gryffindor look relieved to see him? He wasn't some sort of stud or whatever the girls in his house had called Black, Potter, and Lupin when they thought no one was listening. He didn't even know this girl. Did he?

He had scanned his memories endlessly, even though he knew right off he didn't know her. Once seeing hair like that, he was positive he couldn't forget it easily. So, this look she sent him which turned quickly to a smile, was quite unsettling. She smiled at him. Didn't she know who she was dealing with? He almost felt anger at it. Silly twit. Useless Gryffindor. That smile of hers was _knowing_. She didn't know anything. She couldn't know anything.

"Evening." She said, a smile passing her face as she strolled up the staircase. That _damned_ smile again.

"Granger, is it?" Severus called out, walking almost beside her, but not quite. What did she damn well know? Or was she just playing dumb? If she was, it would be the end of her life. He swore to it.

"Yes, Sir. Hermione Granger. And you are Severus Snape, no?" She asked, a gentle look passing her face, as she stopped to turn to him.

He also stopped, facing her. He tried to delve deep in her words. He didn't question how she knew his name. She most likely got it by some tactless remark Black made. He didn't give her any sort of acknowledgment. Damned not trying to figure this out. "What do you know?"

He berated himself for his momentary lapse of judgment and loss of control as he snapped at her. He was taught better than to be rude to a lady, however, this girl had managed to do what had taken others years to do in just a few years. She truly irritated him.

"I'm sorry?" She asked, a look of confusion passing her features. It looked so real, but he couldn't help but think there was something more to it.

"You know me or something about me, Miss Granger. I could tell it this morning when you looked at me, and I could tell it just know when you smiled at me." Dammit. He had managed to lose courteous behavior again.

"I'm afraid I'm not aware of what you're talking about, Mr. Snape." And just like that, she had him. The way she said his last name…

"I apologize for my rude behavior, Miss Granger." Then, he turned around to leave, but she called out to him. He didn't know why he did it or how much trouble it would cause him the future. All he knew was that he was almost helpless to ignore her wishes. To anyone else, he would've dismissed them and made a witty remark.

There was something about this Granger girl. She radiated innocence yet experience, bravery yet tact, intelligence yet modesty. She was something he wanted to tear apart. He wanted to take her down, to shred her innocence, her nobility, her body, everything. He had had half of a conversation with her and had only seen her for a day, but he felt like he was at a warpath with her. Not at her. At himself. He wanted to get rid of her so he could go back to being himself.

The only thing worse than having unwanted emotions was to have unwanted emotions and not understand why.

Just with a look, she managed to infuriate him beyond belief, and yet, she'd done nothing but be cordial with him. An innocent, new, little Gryffindor lamb walking into a wolves' den. Didn't she realize what a big mistake she was doing even talking to him? He could kill her, and by Merlin, he was tempted to. Naïve, _stupid_, little girl.

"It looked like you were heading to the library. Would you like to join me, Severus?" He turned to face her, a sneer crossing his face, knowing it would scare her off right away.

"And pray tell, _why_ would I do that?" He asked, knowing that even if she ignored the warnings she must have gotten from her new _friends_, she would now definitely leave him alone and giving him grief- tempting him to devour her in the short time he had seen her.

"Because I'd like your company." She answered simply, her stance unwavering. Damn damn _damn _little Gryffindor.

"As you wish."

A/N: This will take a little longer to get out. I know all my More Than Quidditch reviewers are used to uber fast updates. I'm having issues getting this the way I want it. Man, Severus is a complex character. Writing him the way I want him while it being semi cannon is hard.


	2. Chapter 2

I've also decided that instead of making this like a mini story with two chapters or three where it leaves off, I'm making it a full blown story. I already have plots running through my head. So, expect a lot. I hope you guys like this chapter. I know many of you are impatient so here is more good interaction. Sorry if it moves a bit fast.

Disclaimer: I do not nor will I ever own Harry Potter. If I win every single lottery for the next three hundred years, I will attempt to resurrect JKR from the grave in order to get her to write Post seventh book. Then I'd quite possibly semi own it. Then, I'll take this disclaimer off, K?

Chapter 2:

For the life of him, he couldn't figured out what possessed him to say those words let alone go through with them. And what was wrong with her for inviting him? What was this hold she had over his mind and his emotions? Whatever it was, he knew he didn't like it. No one, not even He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, had ever had such a strong hold on him as she seemed to have from the very beginning. It only furthered his exasperation with the whole situation. He felt so damned helpless.

To her credit, she didn't try to further conversation as they walked to the library. She seemed quite comfortable in the silence, just as he was. There was no small talk about the weather or Quidditch, there weren't any questions of what this school was like, and she didn't ask him any probing questions about trivial things, such as what he did in his free time or what classes he was taking. It was what it was. He was accompanying her to the library, so she could do whatever she needed to, and he could do whatever he needed to.

What did she need to do? As curious of a soul as Severus was, he couldn't help but wonder what business she had going to the library on her first day here. She didn't have any homework yet. He knew that for a fact. Did she just want to go to read for pleasure as he did? No. That was almost impossible. In all his years, he rarely found anyone outside of Ravenclaw who read for pleasure. Other than Evans, he couldn't ever remember encountering a Gryffindor in the library.

He wouldn't be the first one to break the silence in order to ask. No. She would eventually have to talk to him. Then, he could slip in the question. She would have to ask where certain sections and books were. Then, he could find out exactly what she'd be reading up on. Was it going to be some fiction novel, a history book, a potions book, or maybe a book on the dark arts? That would prove interesting.

It was definitely too odd, he decided, that she would show up just a few months here without a purpose. Was she a spy for the Dark Lord, possibly? No. He didn't hear anything. He dismissed that idea reluctantly, though it lingered in the back of his mind.

Surprisingly, when they entered the empty library, she didn't ask him where anything was. She was simply off in an aisle. It looked as though Granger knew where she was going. He didn't care that she knew where she was going as much as he cared that he wouldn't find out the information he wanted to know. With a groan, he walked past four bookcases and turned to the left. Using a ladder that was positioned there, he climbed up to the top and let his fingers run over the titles. He grabbed a worn potions book, before he climbed back down and walked to his favorite corner on the right side of the library.

She was sitting in his chair. She was sitting exactly by a window that was facing the Forbidden Forest. She was sitting in the chair he had used almost every day for the past seven years. He couldn't hold that against her, though. It was just by chance she picked that spot. So, he decided to sit on a sofa that was just opposite of where she was currently seated. He refrained from trying to figure out the title of her book. The book was placed in her lap, and that task was already nearly impossible unless he got almost directly under her legs.

He opened up his own book and was lost inside it, until he felt he was being stared at. He looked up to see Granger. It was odd. She didn't try to look away or disguise that she was staring. And when he met her eyes, she didn't cringe in fear or become embarrassed. She just smiled at him again. She was such a peculiar creature.

"May I help you?" He asked, calmly. Always, he had thoughts rushing through his mind mostly filled with paranoia and worst case scenarios. This was not helping.

"Oh. No. I'm sorry." She answered, suddenly a blush coming on her cheeks.

"You were staring?" He berated himself because it came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Yes. I'm sorry. You just look so peaceful when reading."

"Excuse me?" He misheard her. He must have. Severus Snape was not the kind to look peaceful. He had too many demons to hide and too much power he possessed to look _peaceful_.

She suddenly looked flustered like she was scared to repeat herself. That was better. Let the twit be afraid of him. That was a lot better than trying to get close to him. Not that he would let her. "You… have this fiery look, as if you'd want to jump in and share your opinions with the book. It's calm in an odd sort of way." She said, a half smile crossing her face, her eyes looking as soft and gentle as ever.

"So, what in the hell is your exact reason for staring at me other than this _gentle_ demeanor I so _obviously_ possess?" He snapped, sarcasm dripping with every word he spoke.

Then, he noticed something in her that ignited odd feelings within him. Her gaze lit up just as his own did when he was in the mood for a good row. Her light pink skin suddenly was tinted with an even brighter, more powerful color. Her hair. It seemed to stand up on edge even more, whipping around as she turned her head angrily towards him (previously, she had been staring out the window, trying to avoid his gaze) as her nostrils flared. She looked absolutely livid, and… it almost scared him. _Almost_.

"I didn't realize I was doing it, thanks." She snarled. "I'm sorry that you think people looking your way is so _wrong _or so unusual! You don't have to be a _prat_ about it!"

She called him a prat. Oh, fuck it all. She would pay for that. But… he didn't feel any anger towards her. He felt more intrigue than anything. He also felt a smile coming onto his lips before he could stop it. He couldn't remember the last time he didn't smirk or sneer, but actually smiled. Well, this truly was amusing.

"What are you smiling at, you… you… muffin!" This seemed to anger her even further. He almost wanted to recoil and stop his smile just so he wouldn't face her wrath. However, he couldn't even control it anymore. She amused him. She _amused_ **him**.

Wait.

_Muffin?_

"Nothing." He said, trying to force a neutral, blank expression. It didn't work out too well. Every breath she took was elongated and caused her chest to rise and fall sharply. She still had the fiery look about her. There was just something about her.

"Well!" She exclaimed, not furthering her words or even giving him a hint of what she wanted to say or if she even wanted to say anything. Then, a smile came upon her face. She was still flushed as ever, but she too seemed to find amusement in herself, which caused her to break out in giggles.

Any tension they had felt before, was now gone. Though, if he were to be honest with himself, he couldn't remember feeling any tension. The whole situation starting with their encounter on the stairs seemed quite comfortable, like they had known each other previously and this was just a reunion of old… acquaintances? Companions? _Friends_? Now, her giggles were full blown laughter.

If he wasn't so caught up in his pleasure, he was sure he would have berated himself for noticing how lovely her eyes were when she laughed. It wasn't just a dull brown or a deep chocolate (like when she was mad). It was more of a coffee sort of color that was almost surreal. Her cheeks becoming just as flushed as when she was passionately telling someone off, she opened her mouth and threw her head back slightly. This revealed teeth that were imperfectly perfect. However, not even Severus could have two strongly conflicting emotions and moods going through him. At the moment, he was quite happy for some unknown reason. So, he also threw his head back and let out a few deep laughs.

"SHHH! This library is here for the purpose of letting students have a quiet place to study! I thought that you, Severus Snape, would know this better than this by now! You'll disturb the other students! Now calm yourselves or LEAVE!" The librarian reared her ugly face. This caused Hermione to cover her face from exploding with even more laughter. She stuck her book in a secret sort of compartment by that chair along with his before dragging him out of the library and into the corridor. There, she continued her fit.

Severus didn't object like he normally would, trying to get the pounding of his heart to calm when he felt her warm touch on his hand. Merlin, this girl. THIS GIRL! He shook his head, trying to clear it. He got the smile off his face finally, though she didn't seem to let this stop her. Her face contorted to a weary, annoyed one.

"You'll disturb the other students!" She mimicked. "Is she in her own delusional land where the library is always filled with eager students trying to further their education? The place was empty, minus maybe a couple or two snogging in a dark corner! You'd think we were in there banging drums in the middle of a N.E.W.T. study session!" She sarcastically stated, a smile still lingering on her face.

As much as he loved the library and commended the librarian for her usual will to make it stay quiet, he had to admit that he was thinking along the same lines. He stayed silent, only slightly nodding to show agreement.

"Well, thank you for the lovely evening, Severus. I should get back to the common room before Lily sends out a search party, which would do more trouble than good considering it would probably mainly consist of James Potter and Sirius Black." She shook her head before continuing, when she saw his raised eyebrow. "She's made it her personal mission to care for me as if I was a little child. It feels as if I'm being forcefully adopted by Remus, James, Sirius, and Lily."

Thoughts ran through his head rapidly. The initial one was, _'She didn't want to hang out with the twits on her own free will_'. Was there any slight hope that she would want to possibly become an acquaintance of his? A previous thought he had popped into his mind. _It was as if it was a reunion of old friends_. He wasn't her friend though. He was no one's friend. He was protective and loyal to his own kind. He had connections that helped him achieve specific goals. He had links, acquaintances, and alliances. He didn't have friends. Friends were useless. What purpose did _they_ serve?

He was the one thinking that it was not too late to form some sort of relationship with her though, wasn't he? What was the reasoning behind that? What was the reasoning behind laughing with her? What was the purpose of aggravating her only to notice how _brilliant_ she looked when she was angered? What was the purpose of noticing the difference in the color of her eyes when she switched moods?

He couldn't answer any of the questions. He wouldn't admit to himself or allow himself to think of what the actual answer might be. The Gryffindor intrigued him. That was all.

"My deepest apologies for having to deal with them. Please no not base opinions of Hogwarts students on the likes of Sirius Black and James Potter." He simply stated.

She shrugged it off. "They're not too bad, from what I can tell. Usually, they seem like they're kind, caring guys." He snorted uncharacteristically. A smile played on her lips as she corrected herself. "They tend to be tolerable most of the time."

That satisfied him.

"I'd offer to walk you to the Gryffindor tower. However, I sense that that may only fuel a confrontation. So, I bid you farewell, Hermione." He said, letting her name slip off his lips, a blank expression once again gracing his features as he nodded towards her.

"Thank you again for accompanying me to the library. Goodbye, Severus." She turned and started to walk down the corridor.

"Hermione!" He raised his voice in order to get her attention. She turned back toward him, looking at him questioningly. Damn him. Damn him. Damn him. Damn her. Damn everyone and everything. And damn Potter and Black and Dumbledore and Trevors while he was at it. He willed himself to stop or throw some scathing remark her way to make her never bother him again. Yes, he'd open her mouth and tell the little Gryffindor to never speak to him again. He'd open his mouth to tell her she was unworthy of his company. He'd open his mouth to pass along a threat. He'd open his mouth and…

"I request that you meet me in the library tomorrow night after dinner."

DAMNATION! DAMN IT ALL.

A/N: So Sevvie obviously has issues with Potter and Black. A bit obsessed?As obsessed, he may become with Hermione... or he is already? Did you like it? Did you love it? Do you want to stone me because you hated it?

You know what to do.

And I know you want to.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Why am I writing a time turner type fic if I'm JKR? Hmmmm? Why am I not writing about Horcruxes and Order meetings? Why is Harry not in the story? Hmm? Hmmm? raises hand I KNOW I KNOW! I'm not JKR and don't own HP!

Enjoy!

Chapter 3:

He was practically growling as he stalked down the corridor. Oh how he was hoping he would catch some Gryffindor wanting to start a fight. He wanted desperately to try and get out this anger and frustration he was feeling towards his own housemates. He cursed himself for being in Slytherin. If he wasn't, then he wouldn't have to put up with this whole pride/honor rubbish and having to _comply _with his housemates. If he was in any other house, he would have cursed Trevors to his grave!

It seemed he was having issues with him almost every bloody day now. _"Severus, I wish that you comply with my wishes and join the Quidditch team. What else have you got to do? Bully some first year or start trouble with Gryffindors? I know you haven't got any mates."_

He stopped walking and slammed his fist into the wall, not caring that he was acting very uncivilized. No one was around. It was almost seven in the evening, on Christmas Eve. Most students had chosen to stay this year because of the New Year's Ball that would be thrown, but because it was Christmas Eve, he was sure that they were all swarming to the Great Hall or spending time in their common rooms with their friends. He wasn't doing anything wrong except for being a bit noisy, so that eliminated the threat of Professors coming by.

Yes, he was utterly alone- just as Trevors had said. He had no one that cared for him. That was most likely his own mistake, though. He had disowned both his parents when he joined the Dark Lord. Associating with muggles and muggle lovers was strictly forbidden, and since one of his parents was a Mudblood and the other was married to that Mudblood, it took care of it. Once they had been cut out, he realized he really had no one to love or care for. He had only respect from people he was using and who were using him.

He didn't realize that his fist was crashing into the wall again. Being civilized was the last thing on his mind right now as his choices caught up with him finally.

"…_Gryffindor, but you seek power. You're only fooling yourself into thinking this, young Snape." "DO IT." "SLYTHERIN!"_

"_Son, I beg of you. Please do not take the Dark Mark. Please. We love you too much for you to make one of the biggest mistakes of your life. We love you!"_

"_And do you pledge your oath to me?" "Yes, master." "And are you willing to give your life and more to me?" "Yes." _But was he willing to lose everything?

The top thing on his mind was to block out any intruders who may have been trying to peak into his thoughts. Oh, Merlin. He wanted power. He wanted to rule. He wanted to win. And he had. He'd killed. He'd controlled someone's actions completely. He could still taste the adrenaline, and he loved every second of it. The only problem was that he had to give up everything else for it. He gave up his heart and his soul. He gave up ever being truly cared for.

Until she came along. She would join him every night after dinner in the library, in a secluded spot where no one would run into them. They'd read in peace. They'd talk quietly. They'd occasionally even _laugh_. She could probably taste the power, herself. No matter how aggravating she was to him, he couldn't stay away. She could've almost cast Imperius on him, and it would've made very little difference. They talked about everything comfortable. She didn't ask about his past, and he didn't ask about hers.

And it killed him during meals and classes to see her sitting and laughing at the Gryffindor table. Slowly, she went from being taken under _their _wing to becoming part of _their _group. The damned Marauders and Lily Evans (who had started going out with James Potter, much to his disgust). He had to suppress every urge to wipe that smile off her face and theirs. She was only supposed to smile like that to him! She wasn't supposed to laugh like that with them. Her eyes weren't supposed to change colors like that around those daft Gryffindors. She wasn't supposed to enjoy spending time with them.

He shook any thoughts of ownership, Hermione, and the Marauders out of his head once he heard his stomach grumble in protest of him not moving towards the Great Hall. He, however, couldn't shake off his hatred toward Trevors. He'd have to find some way to get him off his back and get even with him. How, he wasn't quite sure, yet.

He had no inclination to go to dinner tonight. He could ask a house elf to give him food if he decided he was hungry. His only real reason for going to the Great Hall was so his housemates didn't ask him what he was up to when he wasn't. Tonight, they'd all be too busy ogling their overly expensive Christmas presents. While Severus himself was rich, he did not indulge in such extravagant gifts. He enjoyed the quality of his gifts more than the quantity and price tag.

His other latest reason was to watch Hermione and to wait for her to leave the Great Hall to walk to the library. She had, however, told him that tonight she would not be able to meet him. She would be spending the night with _them_. He wrote off the jealousy that coursed through his entire body. He wanted to march right up to her, throw her over his shoulder, and take her away. He also knew that she would not let that happen, so it was useless.

It almost reminded him of a muggle play he read before he came to Hogwarts entitled The Taming of the Shrew. The play was supposed to be comical, but to him he saw nothing funny about it. He saw it as more of a cruel, dramatic, twisted sort of tale. That's why it interested him so.

While he was lost in his thoughts, that traveled from one subject to another (he was always thinking rapidly), he realized that he was not controlling his feet. Without choice, he walked through the giant wooden doors and kept his gaze toward the Slytherin table, not caring that his now lengthy black (he hadn't had it cut short how he liked it in weeks) was falling across his face. He sat next to Bade Hudson, a tolerable seventh year with dark red hair and piercing blue eyes.

He idly chatted with him, ignoring the urge to look to the Gryffindor table. It would do him no good, he knew. He was throwing himself into the conversation at hand, about something he knew a lot about, the dark arts, until Bade (who was quite intelligent) brought his attention to the Gryffindor table.

"It's disgusting really. Another muggle lover being created right in front of our eyes by none other than the Mudblood, Potter, Black, and Lupin. It looks as though Lupin has taken it upon himself to welcome her into the despicable art of intermixing bloodlines."

Severus turned his head toward the Gryffindor table for the first time in almost an hour. What he saw made him want to hurl things across the room. Hermione was sitting so close to Lupin that there was nothing between them. Lupin had a blush across his face as he lifted his hand up a few times before finally managing to drape it across her back. She didn't seem to mind. She had a blush on her face as well, a smile creeping onto her face as she opened her mouth to reply to the conversation they had initiated in.

"Revolting." Severus added in. In his mind, he tried to convince himself that it was simply because he hated Gryffindors in general. While he had months ago given up trying to convince himself he hated her, he didn't like that she was associated with such filth (though he knew it was inevitable since she was one of them now). Now, she was taking the association to the deepest level. Was she engaging in a relationship with the werewolf?

"I can only hope that they do not breed."

Severus's expression became cold as he glared at the interaction he was witnessing. "Excuse me." He nodded toward the other wizard and stormed off, his robes billowing as he walked out the Great Hall.

Once a decent distance away, he smashed his fist into the wall again in frustration. "That really is a nasty habit. Three times in one day."

That voice. That bossy, gentle, though stern voice filled with pure concern. It was her. He didn't even turn around to face her, almost ashamed that he was seen in his moments of weakness. He was not used to having them at all, but when he did, he liked to make sure they were private in a confined area where he could be left to himself and his thoughts. Now, this was all ruined by her. Everything was being ruined by her. She entered his life and caused chaos within his body and outside of.

"You saw." He stated, watching as his suspicions were confirmed, when he felt her nod her head up and down.

"I did not mean to intrude into your private moments of anger Severus, but I am concerned about you." And she was. He could tell by the way her voice was slightly raised and laced with sadness. She was so easy to read. Anyone he knew could do it. She wore her heart on her sleeve just as the old muggle saying stated; yet, he could not read any deeper than word by word. Every time he seemed to have her figured out and what she was up to or what she was doing, she pulled something like this.

"You? Concerned about me?" He snorted. "You have caused me nothing but trouble since the day you came." He stated coldly. His simple words and short statement began to have an effect on her almost immediately. They seemed to burn her.

She looked very taken aback, but remained unmoved. For a second, she just stood there, before tears welled up in her eyes, though she refused to let them drop down her face. She soaked them up quickly again and just stood there. He wanted to add something more to her, but he couldn't. He couldn't be angry with her any longer, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize.

So, for minutes that seemed like eternity, they stood there. Then, once she had backed up to the wall for support, she took a deep breath and stood up straight, upright, and defiant. She didn't get any closer to him; they stood far apart, even farther than they had when she had first met him all those weeks and months ago… when she first started to plague his thoughts and control his emotions.

"I'm sorry that I've caused you so much trouble. I only meant to befriend you, and I thought I had. I'm sorry that I was so mistaken." She curtly said, turning her back on him and walking down the corridor they were presently in.

He watched as she disappeared up a staircase he knew led to the library and the Gryffindor common room past that, but he knew she wouldn't be stopping in the library. His expression remained the same- stony. He took a deep breath just as she had moments ago. He ruined any relationship he could've had with her? And why? Because he was jealous of Lupin and the other halfwits. Why? Because he was blinded. Because he was stupid.

She didn't only intrigue him. He had grown to need her. And he hated it.

"I'm sorry, Hermione." He said, allowing his voice to be quiet with emotion before he made his way to the cold dungeons.

Isn't intrigued a brilliant word! smirks

A/N: Did you love it? Did you hate it? Do you wanna stone me? Do you want to give me smores? Did you think it was mediocre?

You know what to do. And you know you want to.

P.S. Did anyone else take the W.O.M.B.A.T? I got an O on it! I thought I'd get a T for sure!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Pshah. Nicht mein.

A/N: This chapter was hard to write, but it just came out. It has a lot of back story on Severus. It also had an alternate ending that would turn this whole fic into a dark fic. I'm not capable of writing a dark fic well yet. I'm a sucker for happy endings, and not deciding whether this one will have one is ALREADY killing me! So, please excuse it, and excuse for time to keep skipping around. I can't promise if it will or won't or how long this'll have stuff unexplained. I hope this chapter clears up the Remus/Hermione issues

Enjoy.

Chapter 4:

Severus Snape did what he had known all his life to do: he sat in his room with his curtains pulled shut, to leave him in complete darkness while he stewed. Ever since he was little, he preferred not to show any sort of emotion. When his parents simply insisted that he go to St. Mungo's for an injury, even when he was little, he was the little kid that sat there calm and composed. Even with a cold touch or spell that sent shivers through his body or potion that hurt him, he kept completely shut off and blank from anyone trying to read into his feelings and thoughts. Through different kinds of experiences when he was younger, he learned to keep to himself. He learned the best ways to not let anything get through his rough experience. Years of this had created a tough sort of exterior.

This made befriending anyone almost impossible. He didn't mind in the least, however. He knew he was different than the rest of them were. They were unintelligent and uncivilized. They wanted to play with their brooms that hovered a few feet above the ground. They fawned over pet Puffskeins and fake play wands that allowed them to cast Lumos and spark a few times. He never had a phase where he was like that. At age six, if he remembered correctly (which he did), he had made a well composed speech of the importance of being apt with a wand at an early age. This caused his parents to take him to Ollivander's that weekend.

That's when he bought his wand- the wand he'd had for eleven years now- the wand that he'd done his first spell with- the wand he'd first killed with. He was in the shop for almost nine hours. Even old Ollivander sat stumped as he tried dozens of wand. Each sparked nasty colors in protest, and some even downright exploded. His parents were about to resent and believe he was too young for one when he'd laid his hand on this one. Willow. 13 inches. Asphodel core. He was the only one he knew with this core. He hadn't even been aware it had been a core until he had it.

He had immediately made sure his parents set up magical detection wards around his manor, so that he could practice magic without disturbance. By the time he entered Hogwarts, he was already well armed and had practiced his first unforgivable (albeit on an innocent fly, but nonetheless an unforgivable). He didn't realize that they had been used for anything bad. He was still young and quite naïve. He thought there had to be some practical application- to put someone out of their misery or something. Severus wasn't introduced to evil yet, only to the loneliness he felt and to the closure becoming evil provided.

And then there was Hogwarts itself. The sorting hat fought with him, but in the end could not refuse his request to be put into a house where he would gain power. In Slytherin, he was met with a life choice he could not refuse. To a young man that had only ever known inferior people, to meet cunning people gave him a purpose in life- to do whatever he had to so he could associate with more of these cunning, intelligent people and gain more power.

Then, he had his first muggle raid this summer after he took his mark. He shook the events of that out of his head. He couldn't think about that and wouldn't think about that now. He did know that he was starting to question his decisions. This was mainly due to the little know-it-all brat that invaded his life and space. She was also the one that currently had him brooding in the comforts of his bed. Even when he submitted that he didn't hate her (to himself, because he never would to her), he still despised her and was annoyed by her greatly.

He was, however, both pleased and dismayed to know that she was having as profound of an effect on everyone else as she was on him. Black had stopped trying to curse him and insult him at every chance, submitting to merely glaring and mumbling "Snivellus" under his breath now. Potter had even given him some half-assed attempt at an apology (though he knew that was a combination of Evans's work and Hermione's). Pettigrew showed more and more guilt at every Deatheater meeting held by those still in Hogwarts. Lupin stayed the same.

The thought of Lupin caused him to stiffen up. He was also part of the reason he was now brooding. He couldn't possibly be jealous. He was just bothered. He was bothered at the shy, sick display of affection they had so openly shown at dinner for everyone to see. What were they thinking? Were they thinking that no one had anything better to do than gossip and talk about the new couple that had formed among one of the most known people in the school, James Potter's and Sirius Black's comrade, an infamous Marauder, top marker in the school in a tie with himself and Lily Evans, and a girl that popped out of nowhere, someone who was quickly taken into that same group of the most popular kids, a sharp tongued, gentle girl that quickly lent a helping hand to anyone that had asked her, even if she needed to focus on her own things?

He muttered a spell that undid the barrier he had cast around his bed. He was starting to go into feeling sorry for himself, and he could not allow himself to do that. So, he walked through the darkness of the room and down to the dimly lit corridor into a fairly well lit common room. Slytherins were socializing with each other and playing various games. He ignored both Trevors and Hudson each trying to get his attention for their own purposes and walked out of the common room and almost straight ahead until he reached the point, where he could take a shorcut he had discovered in his fourth year. He could go straight from the dungeon to the astronomy tower. It was stranger than any other passage he had found, because he had to argue with the mouse that guarded the passage to get past it, and he didn't have to go up any flights of stairs to reach something that usually required many stairs. It was quite convenient and a lot shorter of a trek.

When he reached the passage, he heard a voice, a deep voice he had heard before, one that was softly whispering. He slunk back into the shadows. Obviously, whoever this was, he was not planning to be overheard. His natural curiosity that always got him into trouble kicked in almost instantly. He cast a wordless charm on his shoes so they wouldn't make any noise as he quietly crept around the corner and spotted just who was talking. It was Lupin, and he was talking to Hermione… to Granger.

Keeping the growl from escaping his throat, he watched Granger lean against the wall, Lupin only a few centimeters in front of her. He stained to hear what the conversation was about. It had to be important if two Gryffindors who were all about following the rules (minus the occasional pranks) were missing curfew to be talking about it in a place they assumed was private. He did wonder why they were in the dungeons, though. The castle was huge; there were bound to be hundreds of other places to be alone in peace and talk in private.

"…miss them terribly. I wish there was something I could do." The werewolf said, the darkness of the corridor helping to etch his worried face even more.

"There's nothing you can do. We have to keep going, and you have to let me handle this." She let a tear slip down her cheek.

He knew she was strong. She faced ridicule and questions and constant attention. She was annoyed with it deeply, but she kept going with a brave face. She smiled at everyone and answered everything. She always did everything she did to please others, as if she knew that happiness was rare to come by and even more rare to keep. She didn't even flinch at the dark comments the other Slytherins had made towards her, her choice of friends, and her own heritage. He had said harsh things toward her himself in those moments that he wanted to take his wand and end her life, but she just talked reason into him, never doing anything more than comforting him. It was as if she could read into each and every single person and their individual wants and needs.

This bothered him even more. Right now, he didn't care about that as much as the fact that she was actually crying. It didn't stop at the single tear she let down. They kept going. He wanted to go over and rush to her, take her in the arms and fix whatever she needed him to fix. He didn't care what it was; he would fix it. He tried to ignore the strong desire to do this along with the pang in his heart. He didn't care about her. He still had remnants of a conscience… of a heart… that he would soon watch wash away.

He did let himself feel the deep desire to knock the dirty bastard werewolf out when he saw him cross the short distance between them in a split second and take her in his arms. One of his hands was tangled through her unruly, aggravatingly messy hair, and the other was on her back. She pressed her face into his chest and sobbed, putting her arms around him for support. The sight disgusted him more than anything he was prepared for. He wanted to throw up and kill them at the same time.

"Shh. It's okay. We'll fix this. Have you ever just thought about…" He trailed off.

"I…" She couldn't get her words through.

"I know you have. It was a stupid question to ask."

Two months since he had talked to her. Two months. Two months he had to watch her not affected the way he had been. Two months he hadn't felt her hand on his, pulling him over to see something interesting she had found. Two months he had been spending the nights alone in his room. Two months he had not dared to go to the library in fear of his actions, if he saw her. Two months of watching her spend every waking moments with _him_. Two months he wanted to kill her and everything else. Two months for him to realize he didn't hate her or want to kill her. Two months for him to realize he didn't want to destroy her, even though he had the inclination to at times. Two months.

And it had been the longest two months of his life. He could remember her pouting her lips out when Dumbledore announced it was too risky to have a ball at the moment. He overheard her arguing furiously with him, stating it was in "times like these that everyone, yourself included, needs to get away". She talked to him as if she was an equal.

Cold February was upon him, the fourteenth was just a few hours away, reminding him how truly alone he was because he messed up. And he realized he had. He had messed up royally. He would never admit that to anyone else; it was a big step that he had to himself. It was as far as he was willing to go. It was the end.

"You're the only one, Remus, who is left. I love you so much. That's why I'm here."

Clearly, it was too late. She was in love with the wolf. He had lost. He had lost _her_. He had lost her before he even _had_ her. He didn't admit to himself that his feelings were not just that of platonic ones. He didn't admit that he was slowing falling for Hermione Granger. He didn't even consider the possibility that they were talking about something completely different. He didn't analyze further into the way she had talked to Dumbledore. He didn't think about what she meant by "coming here".

Deciding for the second time since she had come into his life to not worry about things, he finally submitted to the absolute misery he felt. He didn't feel a cold rush of fury that usually caused him to kill or hurt something or someone. He couldn't explain what he felt.

He swallowed hard. Turning around, he headed back to his cold confines, too caught up in his emotions to hear words about him being muttered.

"I need to save, Severus. Merlin help me, but I've grown to love him."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Nicht mein.

A/N: I had a mishap writing this chapter originally. I posted another version, but I quickly took it off minutes after. One person did read it, and she therefore knows why/how Hermione got there. But she'll remain anonymous because I'm scared you lot would eat her alive for information. But anyway, I promptly got back on track after my initial post of chapter five (the other version was complete TRASH, just trust me on that).

I really, really like this chapter (mainly how it ends). So... I hope you guys will too.

**Dedication: Snowy-Mel**

Enjoy.

Chapter 5:

Waking up was hard to do. It always was for him, at least. He had terrible insomnia; he wouldn't go to sleep at all if his body didn't demand it. He laid in his bed for hours before finally, he could get his thoughts to completely blank out. This was always a tough task, since he couldn't remember a time when he didn't have something to fret about or things to plot. When he finally did get to sleep, it was a fitful one. He rolled in bed every few seconds, nightmares plaguing his mind. Then, when he woke up, he couldn't remember what the nightmares were about.

It was a sick feeling, waking up to be completely wet from sweat, heart racing, fear enveloping every ounce of your being, but not being able to know why. He supposed that that was probably how victims who were oblivated felt. That was probably the reason he could never bring himself to cast that particular curse on any of his victims. The paranoid part of his mind reasoned that maybe someone **was **casting a spell on him to make him forget his dreams. The rational side told him that it was completely normal to forget dreams. He didn't know which bothered him more- that someone could have control over his thoughts or that he was normal.

Occasionally, he'd remember a snapshot of a dream or maybe a silent clip of it. The last one he had was of a young woman with bruises over her body, her hair mangled with blood, her eyes shining with bravery. She stood there, wand in hand, shouting out a spell, while doing a complicated wand movement. Something hit her from the side, and she disappeared. This part of the dream was always filled with an unclassifiable feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him feel that this dream would somehow pertain to him or maybe even had already.

He didn't know if in this recurring dream, she disappeared because of the spell she was hit with or if she faded simply because he woke up. Feeling a connection to her, Severus always had a longing to seek her out. When he wasn't in the library to study or get his mind off things, he was trying to research dreams, the wand movement she used, the color of the spell she was hit with, etc. It was starting to become an obsession of his. It was a puzzle to solve, and Severus very much enjoyed puzzles.

But he couldn't allow himself to dwell on that now. He just woke up, devoid of any feeling, thankfully, though that still didn't stop his dread of the following day. He was counting down the days until he got out of this hell hole. He never wanted to come to Hogwarts; he wanted to go to a school where he could obtain what he was seeking: power. Though in Slytherin he did get power, there was only a small portion obtainable under the watchful eye of Dumbledore. If he had gone to a school such as Durmstrang, he was sure that he would already fully be studying under Voldemort. While he admitted to himself that he didn't like harming people as much as the people around him, he could also admit that he'd do anything to get power.

That was a constant thought on his mind. Severus was obsessive. He knew this. He used this to his advantage. He was obsessed with getting what he wanted. He was obsessed with ruling. He was obsessed with ruining James Potter and Sirius Black. He was obsessed with evaluating his dream and solving what it meant. _He was obsessed with Hermione Granger._ What purpose this had, he had yet to discover, but he did know that all his obsessions generally had reasons. He would find out why he was obsessed with Hermione Granger if it was the last thing he did.

Sitting up, he allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness around him. Though his curtains weren't drawn, there was very little light in the Slytherin dormitories. In the common room, they at least had enchanted windows that pretended they were looking outside toward the lake. It always amused him to see first years look at awe into them before finally trying to open them up. The windows stuck out a tongue and started laughing at the first year before putting a minor curse on them that made neon green words appear above the first year's head saying "I must not open windows that aren't there". He was a victim of this when he first arrived. Though it bothered him to great extent then (since the words didn't wear off for about 48 hours), he always shared a smirk when he saw it now.

"Oh how we digress." He mumbled sarcastically under his breath. Yawning, he swung his feet around the side of his bed before going through his trunk to find something suitable to wear.

Once he had dressed and finished his hygene routine, he walked down to the common room. The sight disgusted him. He had nearly forgotten it was Valentine's day until he saw Slytherins groping at each other without shame. They were clearly not educated on manners, these young kids. He knew that no self respecting Slytherin sixth or seven year would be doing this so publicly.

He turned to the fourth and fifth years with disgust, snorting at their display. They jumped apart before glaring at him, their faces turning into almost identical sneers. "I suggest you find a more suitable place to go about your business."

Turning to leave, he heard a comment that caused him to take out his wand. "Just because you'd never have anyone to do this with."

"Oh, my young naïve little boy, you need to learn respect for your superiors." Silently and efficiently, he waved his wand, causing the boy to have cuts immediately appear everywhere. He screamed out in pain, collapsing to the floor. Severus quickly did the counter curse, smirking. "That'll leave permanent scarring if you don't tend to it. Respect, boy."

He walked out of the common room and decided to take a walk around the lake. Unknown to everyone else, Severus actually thoroughly enjoyed being outside. He liked the atmosphere of the outdoors. The smell of trees, when he was close to the forest, reminded him of the smell of a fresh book. It was a smell he couldn't get enough of. It felt like he was soaking in knowledge. What he didn't like was when it was smoldering hot, and he didn't particularly like the sun either. It ruined the thoughts of him being in his own world where nothing could bother him. That's why he usually took walks in the early morning or late in the afternoon. Seeing as it was neither right now, he didn't know what compelled him to take a walk.

Was it to clear his mind? That was usually his reason. He'd take a walk half way around the lake and find a large boulder situated near the edge of the water. There, he'd skip rocks like he did on his own property when he was younger. He knew he could be there in private since it took about an hour to walk just half way around. People these days were lazy. They used magic for everything. The prospect of _walking_ somewhere seemed utterly preposterous for most of them.

When he was almost there, he decided to take off his outer robe. It was mid February and still relatively cold, but walking long distances in the sun brought him almost to a sweat. Swinging the robe over his shoulder, he walked the rest of the way quickly. Throwing an arm around the lowest boulder, he started to climb up the smooth surface. Once he reached the top of the highest boulder, he was more than a little surprised to see that it was already occupied. The sun right in front of where the person was sitting, he couldn't quite tell who it was.

Deciding to abandon hope of finding peace here, he started to climb back down. Then, the person turned around, and he realized who it was. He had conflicting emotions of seeing _her_ here, of all places. This was the second time she had stolen his spot (the first time being in the library), but he didn't seem to mind as much that she was sitting there. Her brown hair was becoming even more unmanageable in the light wind, her eyes even more vibrant in the sun.

"Severus." She spoke, her voice sounding as relieved as ever. It reminded him of the first day she was there. Only this time, her voice mirrored what her eyes spoke once again.

"Yes?" He asked dumbly. He was almost rendered useless around her.

He hadn't been in close proximity of her (minus last night) in far too long. In classes, she was so close but so far away. He never realized how much he had grown to depend on their nights in the library until they were gone. They were his last salvation. She made him feel like he wasn't a bad person- like he was good for something else other than killing and potion making for Deatheaters. She gave him an odd sort of purpose and satisfaction. Now, being close to her once again, she was like a drug. He was almost scared to say something else in fear that she would run away from him again.

He wouldn't let that happen. He _couldn't_ let that happen. He had been so caught up in his worries that he hadn't realized she had begun to spoke. He was so mesmerized by her lack of anger and fear that he didn't hear a word she said. She was beautiful when she was nervous, but then again, she was beautiful when she was angry, upset, or happy also. He hated himself for admitting it, but he hated himself even more for not realizing it sooner.

"I'm sorry for my words." He said, not knowing if she was still talking or not.

He focused back on her, watching her close her mouth in awe. She may've thought it was a big deal that he apologized, or she may've thought it was far too late. He knew that this was all he could give her at the moment. Never had he apologized before, and he didn't think he ever would again. If he wasn't so set on her reaction, he might have mentally slapped himself or made some crude remark just to take it back. He was, however, set on her reaction. She had him hanging by every expression, every emotion that flashed through her eyes.

She sat there, unsure for a few more minutes. Severus felt like it was a hopeless case now. He had ruined the relationship with the only person he had ever truly called a friend. He only regretted that it took him this long to figure out that that's what she was to him. '_You'll never know what you've given up until you have actually given it up'_. Lupin probably hadn't made such a grave mistake as he had. That's most likely why he now had her heart, and he… well… he had nothing but a future of death and despair.

He was about to turn back around to jump off the rock when she stood up, rushing to take him in a hug. Her warm embrace instantly took him back to his mother. When he was young, he had few good memories. One of them was of his mother teaching him how to ride a broom. His first attempt was his first experience of failure. He fell off from almost ten feet. He couldn't bring himself to cry though he was absolutely frightened. His mother sensed this and took him in her arms. She had wrapped her robes around him, speaking words of encouragement to him. He promptly got back on the brook and flew.

Hermione's grip was tight, one arm coming around his neck while the other went around his upper back. He stood awkwardly for a second before he told himself not to over think things. He let his natural instinct take over, pulling her closer to him, one of his hands teetering dangerously close to being in an inappropriate place. He stood there silently, waiting for her to pull back. He didn't have experience in how long hugs usually lasted. After about a minute or two, she pulled back, her eyes glistening with tears.

His fear was quickly washed away when he saw that these tears were happy ones. "I've missed you. I was so upset that you were angry with me." She said before taking him into another hug.

This time, he was more confident and pulled her a bit tighter, leaving no space between them. He tried to not let her scent drive him to the brink of madness. She smelled like his beloved trees. Breaking away soon after, he couldn't help but smile at the girl. She looked even happier than he felt at the moment.

"I'll assume I'm not being ludicrous when asking for your company in the library tonight?" He asked, a friendly smirk gracing his features.

"I'd say you're not being ludicrous at all. I'd say you even wouldn't be ludicrous if you asked for it to be a date." A brave, determined look graced her features, a challenge reading very clear in her eyes.

He always loved a challenge.

"Oh really, Miss Granger? What would you say if I asked you if it was alright to kiss you?" He smirked, all rational thought leaving his mind beside the game she was playing right now. She wouldn't answer that. There wasn't a chance in the devil's hell.

"I'd tell you to do it.

And he did.

A/N: (smirks)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: If _I'm_ Luke's father, then this story is mine. Till then... No. Just no.

Enjoy!

Chapter 6:

The kiss was pure and innocent from the beginning. He quickly bent down to her small frame, taking her in his arms once again. By now, it seemed natural. His lips touched down on hers, and he couldn't help but think about how soft they were. They radiated purity just like her entire being did. This same purity had reeked from her very core since the time she was born, most likely. Now, it felt like it was being transferred right into him. He couldn't help but relish the feeling and want more of it. Never before had he felt anything even close to this feeling. This kiss spread from her lips to his entire body.

It shook his thoughts.

He broke apart from her, pushing her away slightly. Confusion and worry quickly replaced the feeling of bliss that she instilled in him just seconds ago. He quickly felt angry at himself for allowing this to happen. What was he playing at? Kissing her! He snorted at himself. She was clearly with the damned werewolf, and while he had deep hatred toward him, he would not help her to betray his trust. For all Severus knew, she was doing just that to him also.

And the nerve of her! She was egging him on; by now she knew that he could not resist a challenge.What was _she_ playing at? Did she want to play him for a fool? Was that her purpose? How could such infidelity still cause her to radiate that same _damned_ purity that it did? Even if she wasn't with Lupin, how could she do that to him? He felt anger coursing through his very veins at every question that popped into his mind. Yet, he still couldn't voice any of this out loud. In fact, he wasn't even aware of her presence any longer as he went deeper into a whirlwind of thought.

He knew she cared for him. He had seen it numerous times in her eyes as well as on her expression. She was so easily read that he was sure anyone who looked could read her. So, why was she doing this to him? She couldn't possibly be interested in pursuing any sort of a relationship with him. She had so many choices. He was sure that she could get anyone in Gryffindor (except for blasted Potter), anyone in Ravenclaw, and anyone in Hufflepuff. It wasn't that she was traditionally beautiful or looked like a common whore; it was that she shone with such passion that her inner beauty sunk into anyone she was around. Why would she want him? He wasn't ugly, but he certainly wasn't handsome. He didn't find himself to be particularly interesting. He was overly cocky. What would be her motivation to want him?

Severus had had previous relationships. He found himself genuinely interested for the first time in a female the summer after his fourth year. He met her while on a walk in the woods just off his property. Past the wards his mother had set on the property was a small muggle village. It was one of his first encounters with muggles; it was before his current values were drilled into him. He was curious as to how they lived and couldn't help himself from exploring.

He discovered that muggle life was exactly like wizard life, except for the fact that it was a lot tamer. He walked further into the town, gripping his wand in his pocket. He could still remember the thoughts running through his head as he walked on. He was right in front of a grocery shop when he felt someone slapping his back. He was about to turn around and yell at the person, when he heard the words "TAG! YOU'RE IT!" shouted loudly. He wasn't sure what this meant, but he was going to find out.

He saw a girl about his age with dark blond hair and green eyes, run off in the other direction. She was his complete opposite. She was carefree and happy. But, as he was still innocent then, he chased after her to find out what she meant. Having a tall, lanky frame, he quickly caught up to her. He asked what the meaning of what she did was. She laughed in his face. He felt angered and was about to tell her just that, when she explained the game.

He looked on curiously, asking her what the point in this was. Her brothers showed up beside her, laughing at him also. She giggled, telling him that it was fun. Still not understanding what fun slapping and chasing each other around was, he quickly closed the gap between them and touched her sunburned skin slightly, before repeating the words she had said.

He spent more and more time in that muggle village during the summer after that day, and he was in an almost dismal mood when he had to leave after summer. He told her that he had to go away to school for the year, but that she could reach him through letters to his parents. And she had. He was heartened to receive a letter just a week into the school year. It was all rambling about what her school was like, before asking him how he was doing. He responded with a short letter telling her everything was going as expected. Each time, she wrote back with a long letter, telling him she couldn't wait to see him again. That winter break, he went home and spent Christmas with her.

On New Year's Eve, his parents had planned to go to a party thrown by one of their magical friends. He was saddened by the fact that he couldn't spend the evening with _her_. Then, she invited him to spend the night with her, her two brothers, and her father. She pulled him aside into her bedroom, telling him how she usually only spent this day alone with her father and brothers because her mother had died on this night, five years ago. She confessed that she had been on her way back from across the country because of _her_. She cried in his arms, but he didn't know what to do to comfort her. So, he did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her under Mistletoe on New Year's Eve that night. He asked her to be his girlfriend just a night later.

Then, this previous summer (after having been introduced to Pureblooded ways), he was trained to be a Deatheater. He pledged his allegience to the Dark Lord. He was young and naïve when he did this. He didn't think this would have any effect on _her_. But it had. He had been given a task to prove his loyalty shortly after the initiation. It was to get rid of his last remaining link to the muggle world (except for his blasted father). He had to kill _her_.

He had faced the most difficult choice of his life. He could give up his life (it was much too late to go against Deatheater ways) to save her (which wouldn't do much good as she probably would have been killed anyway), or he could gain what he was seeking. With second thoughts going through his mind the entire time, he raised his wand to kill her. He could never forget the frightened look on her face. It still haunted his dreams. He tried to summon enough hatred toward her to kill her, but he couldn't. His killing curse came out as a mangled cry. His real thoughts and feelings somehow disrupted the flow of the curse, and she had a slow, painful death.

He could still hear the cold, empty laughs of the Deatheaters who had accompanied him on his task. They took turns raping her in her torture. She cried out, not understand what she did wrong. He kept himself from rushing to her side, to take her lips once more, to try to find a way to save her from this experience. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to. He just _watched_ her suffer, her last confession still lingering in his heart. "I love you."

And now, it would all happen again. He'd face the same heartbreak he did then. He knew that she would either go back to Lupin, or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named… Voldemort… would find her. Either way, he'd lose. He always lost. And he always would.

"Severus?" He snapped out his thoughts, thoroughly worn from the flashbacks he had had. Her soft voice called to him, her fingers brushing against her lips.

"What are you doing to me?" He asked, just as slowly, not caring that he was opening up his thoughts and feelings to her through his face and eyes. "I can't think around you. When I'm around you, you obscure my thoughts on the outside world." He didn't see the point in caring whether or not his feelings were well hidden from her or not. He couldn't help but feel that she could already read into them either way.

"I don't mean to do that. I just…" She trailed off, her fingers grazing her lips once more before continuing. "I'm not sure. I want to be friends at least. I feel myself drawn to you, and I'm not sure why." He could see confusion etched over her face just like he knew it was on his.

"Why? I know you can read into me. I see that you can. But do you really realize what I'm capable of? What I've _done_ and will **continue **to do?" His expression turned to one of frustration as he turned outward to face the water. All thoughts of Lupin momentarily slipped out of his head.

The giant squid reached one of its tentacles out from beneath the surface of the lake and grabbed a bird. The bird squeeled in pain, but the squid didn't let go. It squeezed the life out of the bird before it disappeared with it under the water again. All that was left of this act were a few brown feathers floating on the surface of the water which quickly calmed down, gentle waves moving along caused by the wind.

"I know what you're capable of." She said softly, a sad expression gracing her face. "I know what you've done. I also know you're better than it. You're too good to be controlled by _him_." She said, a bitter tone in her voice when she came to the last word.

He looked away from her again, sitting on the edge of the boulder near lots of little rocks. He faced out toward the water again, picked up a rock, and skipped it across the lake. It bounced five times before it went under. He wasn't too good for a life of murder, crime, and despair. He was destined for it. That's all he could do. It was too late to repent his ways or try for anything else. And even if he could, he wasn't sure he wanted to. The only thing in his life that had yet to let him down was power. Why would he give that up?

"You give me too much credit, Hermione. I have made my bed, and I will now lie in it. I've already killed. It's too late for me. You'd be better off not associating with me at all. You're too good. You're too innocent. You're too _pure_." He said, his eyes closing as he laid down on the rock.

"I'm not who you think I am. I'm no better than you." He could feel her sit down beside him. She laid down next to him, her head resting just beside his. "I'm not innocent. I've spilled blood. I've killed with my wand just as you have with yours." Her voice was filled with no regret, only a slight hint of sadness.

He didn't know what to think of this revelation. She had killed? But she seemed so innocent and just and pure. Never had he misread a person, but he had obviously done so quite drastically with her. What could have caused her to become angry enough to kill? Was it even out of anger? It could not have been for pleasure. There was no way in hell that she was that type of a person. He also didn't think that she would lie about something like that. She had killed, indeed, but… had she done it out of necessity?

He knew that he could interrogate her or slip into her mind. It was likely that the topic was still freshly on her mind just as his own murders had been on his. He could quickly go into her head and see just what was swimming on the surface of it. Then, he could probably also find out where she was from, what she was doing here, and what her real reason was for being this close to him if indeed she did have an ulterior motive. He wished he could, but he couldn't bring himself to do that to her.

She never questioned him, and he never questioned her. That's how their relationship had been in the past, and that's how he wished it would continue to be. But… this was already disrupted by their current meeting, and he didn't think it could ever go back to what it was before. Not with her confession… not with that kiss…

A/N: K so... the girl.. what'd you guys think about her? I promise she's not random. I hope you didn't mind her. It was really a bit emotional for me to write her and the events (since I try to take on Severus). I was debating whether I'd include her now or wait until later, but since I want her to pop up later, we'll see. (wink wink hint hint nudge nudge). But anyway...

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	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I do want to address something: If you feel this story's moving fast, look at the timeline. Months passed that Severus and Hermione didn't talk and months passed where they did... so it's not really. I'm just leaving out the stuff I'm too bored to write.

Chapter 7:

Not knowing which words were right, he kept still and quiet. His hair was getting dirty from the rock it was resting on, his robes fading in color from their time spent directly in the sun, his skin starting to burn from heat, and yet he still couldn't bring himself to move. A sort of peace had rested upon him since the last words that were spoken. He felt lazily comfortable; for once in his life, he was content. He couldn't quite understand why. Was it because maybe she wasn't _that_ different from him and _that_ much better? Was it because maybe she understood him and actually knew what she was saying when giving him advice? He didn't know nor did he care at the moment.

He could still feel her body resting next to his, and it didn't bother him. Her words still rang in his head, but that didn't bother him either. In fact, nothing at the moment seemed to bother him at all. He felt closer to Hermione, and he found himself enjoying it. She wasn't disgusted by him or his deeds (even if she didn't know the extent of what he had done), and he certainly wasn't disturbed by hers. It was odd that murder could bring him such peace when before all it had brought him was pain and sleepless nights. He didn't know where their relationship stood. He didn't know what the hell Lupin was to her. He didn't know what her motives were in doing this to him. He didn't know why _she_ cared so much for him. He didn't know why _he _cared so much about her thoughts. He didn't know why he cared for her so much when he had only cared for one person prior to her. He didn't know _how _he could possibly care for her more than…

"What are your intentions?" He vaguely asked, not allowing himself to think about a certain green-eyed girl who still haunted him.

"My intentions?" She asked, stifling a yawn. She sat up, turning to look at him curiously.

"For this." He also sat up before pointing a finger between them.

"I'm not sure. To be quite honest, it depends on how I handle things with Remus…" She trailed off, a concerned expression now situated on her face, her lips thinning. She bit her bottom lip.

""So you are with him." He stated.

He'd never thought that she was _that_ type of girl- the type who cheated on their supposed loved one without remorse. Even while clearly she was remorseful now, she still did what she did. She egged him on to kiss her, and he did, and she kissed back. Then, words rang in his head. _'I'm not who you think I am.'_

He hadn't even thought to evaluate those words. Somehow, the way she said them so bitterly combined with the way she seemed to go into a slight dream state, he didn't think it was about her next words. There was something Hermione Granger was hiding, and it would eat him alive until he knew what. What could she possibly be hiding? Why she came here?

He'd doubted her transfer story even when it seemed everyone else bought it. But he did promise himself that he wouldn't think about that in dept for once. He always kept his promises. So, he hadn't thought about it. Though now that he did think about it (since he determined promises weren't true if they weren't spoken out loud), it was all so utterly suspicious that he'd even consider the possibility that she was also a Deatheater. That'd make a great deal of sense.

She wasn't like that, though. He definitely wasn't wrong about that. She was peaceful and kind and caring. There was no way in Merlin's beard that she was a Deatheater. He crossed that off of the possibilities. So, what was her deal? She was such a mystery- a puzzle. He swore to himself that he would find out before the year was over.

"Of course not! What kind of a person do you think I am?" She seemed outraged at the suggestion, her eyes opening up widely. He could see sadness and anger at his accusation.

"What am I supposed to think?" He asked rhetorically, equally angry now. "You're with him all the bloody time, all hours of the night, and he's basically sitting on you in the Great Hall! Now, I kiss you, and you don't know what it means because of _him! _And you're asking me how I could think that?" He snorted, a disgusted look appearing on his face, hiding the fact that he said all hours of the night. He didn't want her to know what he saw.

"I'm sorry for having friends and valuing their opinions enough to ask for advice. I'm sorry, Severus, but he's been one of my greatest friends since I've been here. It hasn't been too easy for me, if you care enough to know. But you probably don't. You haven't cared these past weeks, so why would you now?" He was glad to see a defiant expression on her face. What he wasn't glad to see, were the tears that were bubbling in the corners of her eyes.

"I do care." He admitted, not wanting her to run off again and leave him alone. His face, which had returned to its stony façade just minutes prior now exposed his eyes to her.

His black eyes always sealed whatever he was trying to hide. They were cold by nature, only burning to a darker shade of charcoal when he was truly angry. This rarely happened, even though he had a violent temper. Though now, they were neither shade of black. They lightened, a window into his soul, revealing the regret and despair he felt at her words. They turned to an almost dark brown colour, pleading with her to understand.

He moved his right hand to lightly take her left. She shuddered at the touch, but didn't withdraw. He felt a sick feeling in the bottom of his stomach when he looked at their joined hands. It somehow seemed to him that this couldn't last long and that even if it did, it wouldn't turn out for the best. He knew that whatever he was doing was wrong on too many levels for him to comprehend at the moment. He was being selfish, and they would both be punished for it.

He _still _didn't care at the moment.

Her hands were too soft. Her smile was too uplifting. Her companionship was too absorbing. He could be rude to her, he could be mean to her, he could try to curse her, but nothing would get that… _good_ feeling she somehow managed to light inside of him to go away. He was in far too deep for denial now, and it killed him. And it made him angry. And he couldn't even convince himself that he wished she was gone anymore.

"You shouldn't care. I'm not who you think I am." She took her other hand and put it around the two they had entwined already. This time, it was his turn to shiver at the touch.

"And you're repeating yourself. I'm not ready to talk about my past, and you're not ready to talk about yours. Let us go on living in the present." He held onto her hand another second longer before he released it and jumped down the boulder.

"Where are you going?" She asked. He didn't have to turn to see a smile on her face; he could hear it in her voice.

"I'll see you in the library tonight. Be ready to answer my questions." He called, a few yards away now. Then, he stopped and turned around, a lazy smile lingering on his face. "Oh and Hermione? Happy Valentine's Day."

He smirked to himself, knowing the words he said were effecting her even as he walked out of her sight. Tonight would surely be an interesting night.

It was approaching the end of dinner, and he couldn't help but smirk at the fleeting glances Hermione was sending him. She looked downright uncomfortable in her seat; she could probably feel the heat of his stare on her back even as she was occupied talking to Lupin. She would pick up her utensils in an almost shaky manner before heaving a sigh and setting them down again, looking dejectedly at her plate. Then, she'd turn to converse with Evans, Potter, Black, Pettigrew, or Lupin (though the conversation with Pettigrew seemed somewhat strained).

He shrugged off any reasoning as to why she had been behaving so coldly with Pettigrew and thought about Lupin's behavior around her. It drastically differed from previous dinners. It seemed that he had backed off of her slightly and now didn't sit so closely to her, though his demeanor hadn't changed. To an untrained eye, it would've probably remained unnoticed, but Severus knew better. He saw Lupin divert his eyes from her when she looked even relatively in his direction. He saw that he had a pained look flashing in his eyes every time he was pulled into a conversation, that also included her.

Wondering if Hermione had talked to him, just as she had claimed she would, was now pointless. Obviously she either had done that or she had a falling out with him, of other sorts. He doubted that Hermione could purposely put someone off, and he thought the same about Lupin. He wondered just how the conversation had gone. Then, he could at least know what was going on in her mind. He would be thrilled to know her feelings. It even surprised him that he only slightly wanted this information for manipulative purposes.

For the twentieth time since he met her, he resisted the urge to invade her mind. He only did this because he feared that she would be able to sense his presence. She wasn't stupid enough to mistake it for something else. She was definitely too bright to believe it was a simple headache or a misc. flood of memories. She would know automatically what it was, and she would be furious. Then, she'd never speak to him again.

That could either be a curse or a blessing, depending on how he looked at it.

"You're staring again, Snape. You're not trying to devour the poor Gryffindor with your eyes now, are you?" The redhead asked him, a friendly smirk on his face (probably the only friendly one in the Slytherin house).

"I should not think so, as she is still alive and breathing." Severus replied, sarcasm evident in his voice. He decided to give Hermione some breathing room and turn to have a conversation with Hudson.

"I haven't seen you with such a pleasant look on your face in over a year, Snape. While the rest of our beloved house may be filled with ignorant dolts and powerhungry puppets, I am not one of those misunderstood souls." The sarcasm in his voice was lighthearted. "I see the way you look at her just like you looked at those letters you used to get."

Severus resisted rolling his eyes and simply put the words out of his head. There wasn't any way that Hudson had analyzed him so easily when even he hadn't gotten to the root of his insipid emotions. "I see you're as full of yourself and the dimwitted conclusions you've drawn as always. I must say you've really outdone yourself this time."

"I'm glad to see the love in your heart hasn't dulled your tongue." Hudson said, now in an annoying singsong voice. He only wished that he said it louder, so that every Slytherin would have heard the word love and come storming over to Hudson to make his life a living hell. Then, Severus would finally have peace.

"You're delusional." Severus said sharply, looking at his empty plate and at the clock that chimed the time.

"So I am then, but… so are you."

"You've become but a babbling third year Hufflepuff now. What would the Dark Lord say at your pitiful words, so strongly filled with emotions?" Snape snapped.

"I'm not controlled by him, and maybe one day you won't be either. But I guess it's easier for me, since I do not plan to take the dark mark as my father wishes." Hudson's words turned cold, and he turned back to his own dinner.

And that left Severus to his own ministrations before he saw Hermione walk out of the Great Hall, looking backwards out at him before letting the doors shut quietly.

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	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER FACE: **Damare**! Not my fault I don't own it.

Chapter 8:

He couldn't help but smirk when he saw her sitting in their usual corner. She looked annoyed, nervous, and impatient all at once. Watching and admiring her demeanor, he stood behind a book case for a few more seconds before he emerged behind the corner. He walked in long strides at a slow tempo until he was standing at his new usual place (since she had now gotten used to his former one). He sat down, raising an eyebrow at her, watching her squirm at the pressure of his gaze.

There was absolutely no question in his mind that she had changed him. He wasn't blind enough to not see it in himself. He saw it daily even before they had their little spat. He woke up because he wanted to, not because he needed to. He'd sit up in his bed, his head a little less crammed with thought, stretch for a few seconds, then go about his usual routine with a little less self-loathing than he had gotten used to these past few years. That was the biggest change. He didn't hate himself nearly as much as he used to.

He blamed himself for events that occurred directly because of him, but he also blamed himself for anyone he had contact with that was harmed. Severus had gotten used to pushing away these guilty thoughts and justifying them. He didn't want to do this, but he had to. He had to get the power. He had to get the rush. Murder was like a drug with all the positive and negative effects. And now that he was a Deatheater, he didn't feel as guilty because he no longer had a choice. It was life with hate and shame or death.

That was one thing she hadn't changed about him. He was still the sick, sadistic bastard who enjoyed watching people struggle because of his control over them. She would never change that. She couldn't. As much as she had some sort of twisted control over him and his thought process, she couldn't control an instict he naturally had since he was just a young boy. That's probably why he was intrigued with her. He couldn't manipulate her to gain control… even if it seemed she was presently quite under his control. He didn't count that though. She was nervous about the events that would unwind in the next few minutes of their conversation.

"Hermione, I see you've made it here alright." He said in an amused tone, a sneer coming onto his face. She seemed to snap out of some sort of trance at his words and nodded politely. "Would you like to say anything?"

"I talked to Remus about this thing." She said, pointing between them. She, however, didn't continue.

He laughed inwardly at her way of stating their current situation. As much as he wanted to know her thoughts on their _relationship _and what the wolf thought of it, he couldn't help but want to make this as painful as he could for her. She looked entirely unsure of what to say.

He didn't take that as any indication of what her answer would be. She was simply nervous because she was uncomfortable in the situation and didn't know how he would react. He wasn't sure what he _wanted_ the answer to whatever he was asking. What _was_ he asking? Did he want to date this girl? This, insufferable, know-it-all, infuriating, frustrating _Gryffindor_? He couldn't be intimate. He couldn't even be around her. He cringed at touch.

He always had. He always would.

"He helped me sort out my feelings though I do admit I'm not completely sure of them." She took in a deep breath before she stopped playing with the hem of her skirt and looked him straight in the eyes, a determined look in them. "Actually, I am. I've just been afraid. I've been afraid of what you would say. I'm afraid that you'll ridicule me or use this against me. I have insecurities I'm brave enough to admit to. I'm also brave enough to admit that you scare me." Before he could have a hundred different thoughts running through his head again, she continued.

"You don't scare me because of what you've done, will probably continue to do, and who you are. You scare me because you know what you want. You scare me because you have this… I don't know what it is exactly. All I know is that I really do enjoy your company. And Remus thinks that I'm… Well, I won't go into that now."

Her words had no relevant meaning whatsoever. He already figured she enjoyed his company. He already knew he scared her though he didn't know her exact reasoning. She was an odd creature just admitting that to him as if it was just so simple to say. He could tell it wasn't because the second the words left her lips, she started fiddling with her skirt again. Somehow, though, her words disappointed him.

Severus had felt quite a bit of disappointment in his life, but this seemed to go deeper than he would've liked. He didn't know why exactly. What was it he wanted her to say exactly? A confession of her love? He almost snorted to himself. Was she giving him pity? If she was, she would dearly pay and find out exactly why he was not to be pitied. He stared at her, his face in a set expression, his eyes not revealing anything. If she didn't want to say anything, neither would he.

"Oh stop glaring like that." She rolled her eyes, waving his gaze off.

What was she playing at, talking to _him_ like that… like he was… some sort of five year old whose hand was being slapped away from the cake. "Excuse me?"

"I said to stop glaring like that. Wasn't what I said satisfying enough for you? I'm not sure what exactly you're wanting me to say. You've given me no indication!" He wanted her to say that she wanted him.

He blinked at his own internal confession. His eyes glazed over as his mind was filled with a million different ways to respond. He wanted her. He not only wanted her companionship; he wanted her body. He wanted to do the disgusting things that random Gryffindors did in the halls. He wanted to do the things with her that he busted people for during his Prefect duties. He didn't want to do it in public or to that extent, but he did want to embark on some sort of _deeper_ journey.

And then his life flashed before his eyes. It really was an end of an era for him. He had now completely changed. He had gone from sadistic bastard to… well… sadistic bastard, but he was less sadistic than before. He still ached to hurt the people around him that bothered him. He still itched to wave his wand and get Dumbledore's eyes to incessantly stop twinkling like that. He still wished that he could Crucio their damned potions teacher for so crudely killing the entire subject. He still wanted to be on the winning side of this war. He still wanted to do everything he had before, but he was not willing to go through any means to achieve that. He did _not_ want to kill (not that he ever did, but he just wanted to do it less now).

He hated her more than ever, at this very second. She was the only person he wanted to kill (except maybe Voldemort), ironically enough. He wanted to do it manually, to see her eyes frozen in fear as she died a slow, painful death. He wanted to have her blood dripping down his hands, to see her body stop moving. He wanted to have that picture embedded into his mind and suffer from it. He wanted to think of himself so lowly that he'd have to kill himself or live with the despair he had rightfully caused himself for the rest of his life.

But, he couldn't do that. He couldn't take her life away from her. He couldn't bare the guilt of no one ever being able to see her eyes shinely brightly as she raised her hand to answer yet another problem. _He _couldn't bare to not see her eyes shining brightly. He couldn't stand the guilt of no one ever being able to feel her soft touch again as she comforted them. He couldn't stand to not feel her touch. And oh, what would the world be like without Miss Granger's constant nagging about trivial subjects that would never matter again? He smirked inwardly.

"I want you to be honest and not diplomatic." He said, his eyes going straight to hers.

"That's rich coming from the most formal person I know. And what's this I hear about letting James Potter drop from the Astronomy Tower last night?"

He had to contain his laughter. Damned Potter was violating his Head Boy duties with Lily Evans. If he was out of the way, then he could maybe have the position. Too bad that Evans was quick with her wand and managed to levitate him safely back into the tower. But… no one saw him. Otherwise, he'd be in massive trouble right now.

"Let's not get off the subject at the moment… even though I'm curious to know how you knew it was me and not an accident."

"Well, Severus, I feel a bit intimidated to tell you how I feel when I have no indications whatsoever about your feelings. For all I know, you could simply be playing on my emotions and then laugh at them when I leave here."

He almost laughed at her words. Sure, Severus was cruel, but he was not so open as to tell other people of his own moments with people unless they were his latest conquest over Potter. The truth is that he was a little hurt at her accusation. By now, she should know that what she said was the furthest thing from the truth. What he had with her was more of a love-hate relationship.

"I hate you, Hermione." He watched her eyes sparkle with tears, but he made sure to continue before any of those leaked out. "And yet, I think I'm falling in love with you. It's really quite cliché and ironic. It's the satire in my heart that's making these feelings appear in this form. I hate you, yet I love you. I hate you because you've completely changed me. But then I see your smile and hear your laughter. I hear my own laughter echoing with yours. That's something I haven't heard in a long time. I'm just scared of what will happen to you because of me.

"I couldn't have your death on my conscience. It would kill me. You know what it means to kill. It would _kill_ me, Hermione."

He watched as tears successfully spilled out of her eyes. Her face became flushed with color. It was a nice contrast to the pale that it was for the rest of their almost hour long meeting now. Her eyes became that same color red as tears freely flowed down her cheeks and dropped on the table. She now started to shake. He supposed it was because of the impact of the words. He felt at a loss of what to do. What could he do? Should he reach over to take her in his arms? Should he smirk, call her an imbecile, and walk away? He hadn't encountered this situation before with someone he actually cared about.

He sighed, once again at a loss. He looked down at the table. Anything would be better than looking at her at the moment. The sight broke his heart. He heard the chair scraping as she got up with great force. He looked up. He saw her almost jump towards him. She had a smile on her face, her bright brown eyes contrasting the red that was surrounding them.

"I don't care. I just don't care about what will happen tomorrow or even later today. I know that I want you." With those words being said, she dropped into his weight. She was definitely a friendly weight. Her heat warmed him up immediately. Or was it her words? Those were the words he was dying to hear. And now he had.

For that moment, he didn't care about his future or her future. He didn't care about the pile of homework that would be accumulated on his desk by tomorrow evening again because he would spend his time with her. He didn't care about the Deatheater meeting he had next week. All he cared about at the moment was that she was here, close to him.

A/N: There it is. But... LAST LOVE ORIENTED CHAPTER FOR A WHILE. As all brass players know, spit happens... so... expect controversy.

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	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: GRAWR. NO.

Chapter 9:

He almost collapsed on his bed, a throaty growl in the back of his throat the only sign that he was still alive. Another Deatheater meeting. Another _fucking_ Deatheater meeting. It was the fourth one this month. He didn't even see the point of them anymore. Lucius Malfoy simply stepped up during this one and went on and on about the latest Muggle raid he had in a town that no one had ever heard of. Of course, it'd be all over the Muggle news by now, but Muggles were far too naïve to know that anything was going on. The only one that supposedly knew was their Prime Minister. But even he probably didn't fully realize what was happening. Hell, the wizarding world didn't know.

There was a war waging full on behind closed doors right now, and it was itching to erupt. The dark burn he felt when his _Master_ called him was now becoming more frequent. This signaled the end of any childhood that the people around him innocently claimed they had. It was the end of the line. With each meeting, it became clear that the Muggle _extermination_ had now extended its hand into the Wizarding world. Neighborhoods were slowly starting to become targeted for attacks and ultimatums. Mudbloods everywhere were now being killed, families slowly starting to be torn apart; wives, husbands, sisters, brothers… all were starting to be selfishly taken away.

The Dark Lord himself appeared at this particular meeting. It was the first time Severus had seen him since he got his mark. His glowing red eyes were the only things Severus could make out beneath the darkness of the cloak he was wearing. His pale hand gently protruded from the sleeves of his robe as he wildly gestured, his voice dripping into each crevice of the room, where the meeting was being held.

He was planning his biggest attack yet; this one would be on Diagon Alley. It was a huge risk, as Aurors and Ministry officials not only walked the streets, but many of them also lived nearby. He would attack a nearby neighboorhood, taking out everyone who wouldn't cooperate, sealing an equally ill fate upon anyone who gave in. Then, he would slowly make his way into the streets of the marketplace. He hoped to wipe out almost all of the people in the streets, who were unfortunate enough to be buying necessities that day. After he felt he and his loyal followers did a well enough job, they'd all retreat to Knockturn Alley where they'd dissaparate to their own respective, misleading, manipulative, pitiful little lives.

Severus growled again, ripping his robes from him and quickly changing. He could almost taste the environment he just came from. It was naïve and hypocritical. It was filled with powerhungry people who all wanted the same thing. They all believed that this was the only way they could get it. None of them ever admitted to themselves that they'd never get it this way. He shook his head, his mind trailing back to his thoughts as he stood up from his bed, knowing it was of no use to lay there and brood the rest of the evening.

This attack would be the first one involving the 7th year Deatheaters. Before, they'd been spared of anything (mostly because nothing was important enough to risk them getting caught by Dumbledore), but now they were all summoned to attack in just a month's time. Some would most likely even be leaving school in fear that Dumbledore would suspect them and enter their minds for information. Five Slytherins, two Hufflepuffs, one Ravenclaw, and even two Gryffindors would be taking part in this massacre.

It was time for the war to fully begin. Truly. And Severus wasn't enjoying it as much as he thought he would. But what could he do? Go to Dumbledore and beg for redemption? He snorted at the thought and continued his journey, until he reached the Great Hall. He didn't want redemption anyway. He would stick to his path until he died. He wouldn't be one of those pitiful fools who did it as their last chance or in order to get rid of their nagging conscience. Yes, Severus would participate in the raid. And yes, he would kill as many people as he could. There was no way around it, and he liked it that way.

Thoughts were shaken away by the smirk Hudson was giving him. Severus simply scowled, sitting across from his almost companion. His only reason for sitting there was to get away from the Deatheaters and Deatheaters-in-training who were all clumped at the other end of the table. Hudson was a rare breed in Slytherin. He almost resembled something good, a conscience in his mind, a warming, innocent heart.

"Good evening, Severus. I'll assume you're having a good March afternoon!" Severus was about ready to throttle him when he noticed the smirk on his lips and a glint in his eyes. "Deatheater meeting not go well? Did He plot another attack? It's not Hogwarts is it?" He quickly fired questions toward Severus.

Instead of replying, he just inhaled deeply and lowered his head slightly. He tilted his head slightly towards Bade before looked the redhead in the eyes. "It's not Hogwarts." He simply said.

Taking the hint that Severus wanted to talk about anything else, his lips quickly turned into a quirky smile that would usually never be seen on a Slytherin's face. "So, I see you've made up with Granger!"

"You know, Hudson, you could just get a life of your own without prodding into mine, like the insufferable brat you are." Severus growled, glaring at the man before him.

"Oh, I would, but yours is so much more interesting!" He smirked, quickly continuing before Severus could say something in reply. "Besides, someone has to care about your love life, dear Severus. Someone has to give you advice! You're young, innocent virgin blood!"

Severus's blood boiled. He could not believe the nerve of him and the insinuations he was making. He did not care that they were in the Great Hall in the view of everyone else. He simply got his wand out and started to stand up. When his vision, which was previously blurred from anger, came back, he noticed Hudson laughing and smirking, walking out the Great Hall doors. He stopped at the doors, letting part of his body peek out. He stood and waved at Severus, giving him a thumbs up before quickly disappearing.

Seveurus growled, seething. He was almost shaking from how angry he was. He took another deep breathe in before sitting back down at the table, glaring at each bite he took. His gaze so intense, his fury bubbling up inside him so much, he noticed that part of the table actually burst into flames. That little twit had no right.

He noticed the flames where Hudson was sitting only when he heard yelling and Professors running over. Severus quickly took his wand and silently extinguished the flames, not caring about the attention he had drawn to himself. "I apologize, Professors. I did not mean for that to occur." He said monotonously.

The teachers nodded to him, restoring the table to the way it had been before half of it burned down. Just as Severus was planning to leave the Great Hall, a note popped out of thin air. It sizzled and smoked before it fluttered onto the table. He unfolded the parchment.

'_Severus, I do hope you're alright. I noticed you getting angry at Mister Hudson as he was leaving. I'm sorry for whatever he may have said or done to upset you. Dearest, Hermione.'_

Severus looked up from the table to the Gryffindor table to see Hermione indeed looking quite concerned. She was turned around in her seat between Lupin and Evans. They followed her gaze to see who she was looking at. Evans and Lupin both smiled, while he noticed Potter and Black seething. Pettigrew looked indifferent. Severus took a self inking quill from his pant pocket. He put the quill to the back of the piece of parchment to quickly write a reply.

'_I am fine. It is of no concern. Do not worry. I would like to, however, have a word with you tonight, if at all possible.'_

He took the parchment into his hands and squeezed it. It disappeared. He hoped that Hermione would find it. She nodded to him, signaling that she indeed had. Then, she turned back to the Marauders and Evans. She clearly waved off Potter and Black. They accepted this (for once) and went back to an _obviously_ hilarious story or anticdote. It was probably about the latest first year they had tortured for their own immature humor. He snorted.

His eyes wandered to Pettigrew while he waited for Hermione's reply. He knew it would be awhile while she bided time. Pettigrew was still the wormy blonde boy that always trailed behind Potter, Black, and Lupin, always trying to fit in, but never being able to. He was still stupid as could be. The only difference between now and his first year was that about two months ago, he had been initiated into the Dark circle. Surprisingly enough, weak, naïve, dim Pettigrew was also traitorous.

Never did he think he would see the day that a Gryffindor who hung around the Golden Boys would become a Deatheater. He wondered why it happened. He never seemed to have a problem with being a lacky and trailing behind the people, who were the only ones (most likely) who would ever truly accept him. So, what event could possibly have triggered wormy little Pettigrew turning over to the '_Dark_' side? Severus figured it was the same reason most people joined in- power. But there had to be _something_ that caused _him_ to do it.

His thoughts trailed back to Hermione. He knew she wasn't safe around Pettigrew, but he also thought that she was most likely bright enough to see through his charade herself and keep away from him. She _did_ seem a little cold toward him. Was that the reason? He hoped to Merlin it was. Apparently, the rest of them weren't smart enough to figure this out. Though, he couldn't say Hermione was like the rest of them. She wasn't. That's why he fell in love with her. He still wanted to warn her off. He'd talk about the Deatheater meeting with her tonight, hopefully, and then he could slip in that Pettigrew was there.

He saw her quietly slip the parchment out from inside her robe and read it, scribbling a reply. It popped up in front of him again.

'_I wish I could, but James is dragging us out for a night in London tonight via apparition. Lily and I refused, but they got Remus on their (James, Peter and Sirius's) side. Lily said she'd give in if I did. That means, they'll drag me kicking and screaming out of the tower window, onto a broom out of Hogwarts grounds, and apparate there with me. Oh my, I seem to be rambling… and running out of room. Anyway, I apologize once again. I wish I could see you tonight, but tomorrow's a Saturday. We could both get away unnoticed for a bit of time alone. Please don't be angry. Love, Hermione.'_

He smirked when he saw her name scribbled at the very bottom edge of the parchment. He smiled when he saw the word love used as a signature. He noticed her eyeing him all the while trying to pay attention to Potter's excited rambling (which was quite a feat since she was now facing away from the Gryffindor table).

He almost felt jealous that she'd be out all hours of the night with two of the most irresponsible pranksters in the school. He was more worried, though. He had a bad feeling in his gut that he just couldn't push away. These days were filled with Muggle raids in London. It was dangerous for anyone, magical or muggle, with wand or without. She would be out with a Deatheater, who she most likely didn't know was a Deatheater. If he led her into a trap, then it would be Severus's fault for not having warned her.

He shook off all thoughts. There was no way he could just go up to her and warn her without Pettigrew ratting on him to the Dark Lord. Then, they'd probably both be killed. He wouldn't let her die. That left him with two choices: he could trust Potter and Black to protect Hermione (and Hermione to protect herself), or he could tag along and keep watch over them.

He sighed, thinking about the pros and cons of either decision. If Severus got caught, everything would be ruined. It would be hard to follow them. Potter had that bloody map that told him where everyone was. They were also apparating. He'd have to search entire London and perform complicated locating spells to just have a prayer of finding them. This was all on top of the wear that he was feeling at the moment. As much as he hated to admit it, Potter and Black would take care of her. So, he nodded and sighed, walking out of the Great Hall. He hoped his gut feeling was wrong this time. Maybe everything would go alright for once in his life.

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	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Nicht mein.

Chapter 10:

"Snape."

Severus growled as he threw his covers off of himself. They flew to the floor carelessly. "What?" He demanded.

"Dumbledore wants to see you." A boy with curly black hair and piercing blue eyes said, staring at Snape without any emotion.

"Now, I'll assume. You may leave. I have received the message." He said, waiting until the boy (a sixth year Prefect with patrolling duties tonight) was out of the room before getting up and throwing on pants. He took his time buckling them and putting on a black collared shirt before putting black robes over them.

Why would Dumbledore possibly feel the need to interrupt the seldom sleep Severus got? What did he need? There wasn't any planned attack on his Mum or Dad or his estate. So, that obviously was out of the question. He doubted Dumbledore would call him up to his office at 4 A.M. for a _lovely_ little chat. He didn't think there was any sort of reason that would have him walking up the stairs and down the hall toward the Gargoyle this late (or early, however you wanted to look at it).

Did Dumbledore want to talk about Severus's future? There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Dumbledore knew he was a Deatheater. Dumbledore knew everything that went on within these walls (mostly, anyway). He also tended to show his greatest weakness: his trust for people. He refused to '_give up_' on anyone. That was probably the main reason that Tom Riddle succeeded turning into You-Know-Who. He smirked at the thought. Poor, delusional, naïve Dumbledore. It would probably end up killing him.

Severus found himself in front of the statue before he even realized it. "Fudge flies." He said, almost rolling his eyes at the password.

He walked up the stairs, his robes smoothly touching the stairs as he walked to quicken the process (instead of standing there as the stairs slowly moved him to his destination). When he approached the door, he heard Dumbledore's voice telling him to come in. He turned the nob and walked inside. Dumbledore's office was identical to how he remembered it from earlier this year. It had bookshelves lining one of the walls behind Dumbledore. It was cluttered with odd looking contraptions and everything from a sneak-o-scope, to a Muggle globe, to even a jar of peanut butter. The sorting hat looked curiously on from its place next to a bag of what appeared to be lemon drops. There were two steps which led him to Dumbledore's desk. As he sat down in one of the chairs when Dumbledore beckoned him to, Severus noticed that there was an almost perfect view of the Quidditch Pitch and the surrounding area. It was oddly foggy tonight.

Next to his desk he noticed the once brilliant phoenix slowly losing its feathers. It had a few bald spots on its head and near the tail area. The floor under its perch was littered with red-orange feathers. He had read about Phoenix rebirth and signs that it was happening, but he had only ever seen this phoenix. Never had he seen one actually in the process of going through rebirth. He wished he could be there to see it burst into flames before a new one emerged from the ashes.

"I see you've noticed Fawkes preparing for his rebirth. I've personally been waiting for it to happen. He's been losing more and more feathers. If he doesn't do it soon, he'll just be a wrinkled thing with a beak." Severus gave no acknowledgment to Dumbledore other than a small nod. He saw that the Phoenix was almost glaring at the Headmaster. "Oh come now, Fawkes. You've been looking wary for days. You know it's true."

The phoenix squawked loudly before flying into an area Severus couldn't see from his place in front of Dumbledore's desk (which was also cluttered with many odd objects). He looked up at Dumbledore. His eyes were twinkling from behind his glasses. He reached up behind his desk to the bag of lemon drops. He poured it into an almost empty bowl. He reached it out toward Severus.

"No thank you." Severus politely declined. "May I ask why you called me here in the midst of the night, Sir?" Severus asked impatiently. He had probably been in the old man's office for a good ten minutes, and he had said nothing of relevance.

"Patience, Severus. But since you insist that we talk, let's get on with it. May I enquire about your choice of allegience in this ugly, upcoming war?" Dumbledore asked, his twinkle only slightly faltering.

Right. He figured as much. "With all due respect, Sir," he said the title with an icy tone as he stared Dumbledore into the eyes. Annoying old man. "I think you know of my _allegiance_."

He looked at Dumbledore. His hair was starting to become even lighter than it was before. His blue eyes seemed duller than the excruciating shade of blue that they once were. He developed deeper lines around his face. He sighed loudly. "As I expected. Before I tell you the real reason I called you in, I want to tell you to remember my words now. If you forget everything I've ever said, just remember these words; those who want a second chance are not dim or weak in asking for it."

And what was that supposed to mean? Was he going senile with age? Did he always have to speak in code and riddle? Dumbledore knew _nothing_ of his involvement in the Circle. He was slowly working his way higher up in rank. There was no way he could get out of His clutches other than death. Even his death would be slow and painful, most likely. No one could save him. Not even Dumbledore could save him anymore. His hole was deep enough when he pledged his allegiance, but now it was futile to resist. It would only result in more pain.

He wasn't entirely sure he would go back and change things if he could. More power was being obtained by him. He had everything he'd dreamt about since he was a child. Severus did admit that it didn't feel how he imagined it would. It was a lonely, hopeless feeling. He was at a point where he knew He was probably wrong, but there was nothing he could do about it. In his current state, he was in constant danger of You-Know-Who finding out that Severus thought he was thick at times with his actions and how he went about ruling. He was questioning His leadership more and more. It was a dangerous game either way, but it would've been a lot less dangerous if Severus learned to mindlessly follow like many of the other Deatheaters.

"My dear boy, I see you've worked yourself into quite a state in your mind. We've talked about these grave matters far too much. Are you sure you don't want a lemon drop?" Severus looked at Dumbledore to see the sparkle back in his eyes.

Growling, Severus declined. "You drop these riddled words that mean everything and yet nothing: a way out if I want one. They're all in vain. You don't know as much as you think you do, Professor." He tried to keep his tone cordial and cold, but emotion (a raging anger) dripped into his voice.

He hated this. He was beginning to lose control more and more. It felt like everyone was going out of their way to provoke him. Bade Hudson was getting to be a hopeless romantic and a useless, aggravating dolt he had to deal with. His teachers were incapable of helping him further his own talents and skills even further. He doubted that they had created any of _their _own spells. All the Slytherins were becoming nosy pricks. The Deatheaters seemed to be gathering power with ways that were less strategic than a game of Muggle _Go Fish_. And Hermione… he didn't even dare to think about how much she had frustrated him for months on end. It would kill him on the spot.

Right now, all he wanted to do was throw things. He had to calm down. He had to act like he had been taught to. He had to gain back control.

"Miss Granger is in the Hospital Wing. I know of your rela-…" Severus was out the doors the second Dumbledore had completed his first sentence.

Thoughts flooded into his head. There was no way he could gain back control this time. He felt like exploding. He hoped that he would encounter no one on his journey there. No one could stop him from seeing her. _No one_. Not Merlin. Not Voldemort. Not Dumbledore.

He knew something was going to happen tonight. He knew it in his gut; he knew it with the blood running through his veins. He knew it. Did he listen to himself? No! He had to have endless self doubt and allow her to go on this _ridiculous_ journey, thinking ignorantly that Potter and Black could protect her. They were good for _nothing_. He couldn't blame them. The only person he could blame was himself. He should've watched over her. She was in dangerous because of _him_. It was _his_ responsibility, but _he_ didn't come through.

He stormed inside the Hospital Wing, cursing that Dumbledore didn't tell him earlier of Hermione's current state. He saw Potter, Black, and Evans standing outside of a curtained off area. Potter was leaning against a wall, his previously closed eyes now fixed on him. His hair looked more disheveled than usual. His glasses almost slid off the bridge of his nose and away from his concerned, hazel eyes. Evans looked like she had just recently moved away from Potter's grasp judging by the wet spot on Potter's striped shirt. Her green eyes were still shining with tears. She didn't even look at him. She seemed very distraught. She was slightly hunched over and wobbly. Potter had to grab her to get her to stay still.

Then, Severus noticed Black. His gray eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions swirling within them. The most prominent one was guilt. The other one was now anger. He stormed up to Severus where he was standing. His black hair sprung up and down. He was the only other person in the room wearing robes, and they trailed behind him as he walked. When he bridged the short gap between them, he pulled himself up to full height and looked Severus in his eyes, a sneer covering his face as he tried to stare him down.

"I don't care why you're here, Snivellus." Black said, using the nickname he hadn't used in about a year. "Leave."

Severus didn't have time to be having a confrontation with Black right now. He didn't have the time. He didn't even acknowledge what Black had called him. Hermione was laying in a hospital bed, possibly on the verge of death. "Step aside, Black. I don't have patience for this."

"Neither do I. Leave now. Someone is here that needs more attention than you do." Obviously Black knew nothing of his relationship with Hermione.

"I'm here to see Granger. Dumbledore informed me that she was here. Now _step aside_." He venomously spat. He glared at Black, warning him to move before he took drastic action.

Black let out a low, sarcastic laugh that reminded him of a Deatheater's. "And _why_ could _you_, worthless little Snape, possibly be here to see Hermione? You've got no right or reason to be anywhere near her. You have nothing to offer her but frustration. For the last time, I'm warning you to leave."

"I won't leave her like you did, Black. I _trusted _you to have this juvenile, pointless night because I _thought _that you and Potter could watch over her. I was mistaken. Just because you can't protect her doesn't mean I won't."

He didn't see the shocked looks that were written on all three of their faces. He simply pushed Black aside roughly, stepping into the curtained off area. The sight almost brought him to tears.

A/N: Hhhokai so... I haddddddd to throw in that big long Dumbledore/Snape conversation and the Sirius/Severus confrontation. And... yarr soo... I'm obviously foreshadowing Severus's future actions/ JKR plots a lot in this story. Sevvie is smart. He just doesn't know about his verbal irony yet. Haha. I'm also reporting that this story is becoming middle-aged. It's over the hill (but at least it's not under it). I think I'm only gonna have a few more chapters. Not sure. But yarr. :)

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	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Come on Barbie, let's go party! Oh oh ohhh yeah. Come on Barbie let's go party. Ohoooh Ohooooh. NANI? DAMARE! Neither that song nor this chapter are mine! Baka. J/K

Chapter 11:

Her breathing was shallow. He could barely see her chest and stomach rising and falling at all under the thin blanket that laid over her body. She had a cut on her left cheek and a black eye. Her usually rosy face was now pale and almost a shade of yellow. He was afraid to see what was under the blankets. In long strides, he made his way to her bed, sitting down on a chair next to Lupin's.

His face became hard and emotionless, his face paling. He should've known this would happened. Everyone he ever loved got hurt. Here was bright, beautiful, innocent Hermione, laying motionless on a bed. It was his fault. He shouldn't have gotten close. And she… she shouldn't have strayed from her pack.

Severus completely forgot he was in the presence of Lupin. He didn't notice when Potter, Evans, and Black all made their way to the inside of the curtain, staring at the interaction. He didn't notice Lupin staring longingly at her. He didn't notice the angry looks that Sirius threw his way or the tears slipping down Evans's cheeks. He **did **notice her hand unclutch from a fist.

His hand hovered above hers. No, he shouldn't touch her anymore. He only caused her trouble. Dumbledore was wrong. He couldn't be helped. He couldn't be saved. She could be though. She could be spared and protected from all the drama that surrounded him. She was too bright, her future too important to give up simply for him. He needed her safe more than he needed _her_. He needed it for his own sanity and for his own heart. He needed it for her.

His thoughts were jumbled, and he was confused. He tried to restrain his emotions, but they kept coming back to the same dilemma. He wanted to feel her touch, but he knew he shouldn't. He shouldn't. No. He shouldn't. How could he be so stupid? When did he allow himself to be broken down, his walls deteriorated? When did he tell himself it was alright to fall in love again? He didn't deserve it the first time, and he didn't deserve it now. In a few months, this insufferable Gryffindor made him fall in love. He had recently accepted it, but he still hated it. He hated it.

He would betray everything and everyone but her. So, wouldn't it be hypocritical of him to feel her skin on his once more? He already caused her this much pain, after all… but then what could just one more touch do… before he left her alone? '_Break down my walls again. Kill my resolve. Rip my control away from me.' _

She grabbed his hand.

His eyes which had been closed just a few moments ago now snapped open, looking to their interlocked hands. If he wasn't so good at hiding his emotions, he may've turned a few different shades of red, or he may've shed a few tears. He wouldn't allow himself to do that. He was better and stronger than that. He was trained. His eyes wandered to hers to see them looking around the room, giving a weak smile to everyone. Then, she turned to him and simply said his name.

"Severus."

They closed again.

"I knew something like this would happen." He whispered, more to himself than to her as she had fallen back asleep.

If he wasn't presently living the situation, he'd probably laugh at himself. It was like an episode of one of the soap operas he'd seen while visiting muggle relatives. All that was missing was a confession of love. Of course, he couldn't laugh about it. He didn't know what happened, but he had a feeling that it wasn't just an accident. He just wondered why the others were unscathed while she was lying here, clinging onto her life.

He kept hold of her hand, not wanting to think at all anymore. His thoughts had been scattered, and now they were few and far between. He only had energy to think about the rapid beating of his heart. He'd never had this feeling before, and he hated it. He should've known better. She should've known better.

He sighed, closing his eyes.

_Leaning against the stone wall, Severus sighed a heavy breath. August 31sth was always worse than September 1st. On the 1st, he had to say goodbye to the few family members he had surrounding him and the friends he'd made in the nearby Muggle village. He knew he'd be leaving within a few minutes and would not have to deal with the discomfort of packing or the displeasure of having time to be saddened by prolonged goodbyes. On the 31st, he was already packed, but that didn't make up for the pain of not knowing when he'd see **her** again… or if he even would._

_Times were changing, and he knew the war was preparing to burst out any second now. He knew You-Know-Who would be recruiting everyone and anyone in his house. He knew he was a prime target with his wit, intellect, lack of showing emotions, and pure hatred towards so many people. He'd thought about this. His parents (naïve fools) had already tried to talk to him about it. They never shared the same thirst for power he did. They could never understand what it meant to be **wanted** by the possible future ruler of the world. He knew what his choice was before it was even demanded of him to make it. He would become a follower of one wizard and a leader of millions of others._

_The only problem was that through the extermination that would be happening during the purification process, his beloved might be killed. He couldn't stomach the thought of her blood being spilled. He couldn't stomach the thought of seeing anyone's blood spilled (besides Black's and Potter's possibly). That was his biggest obstacle. He knew he couldn't possibly be good inside. He put it up to a weak stomach. He'd have to get around that to become a great Potions master anyway so why not do it through murder?_

"_Severus." He turned, watching as her hair bounced happily, her eyes twinkling in the sunlight. She stopped in front of him, hesitating for a second at his cold demeanor._

_He said nothing. He kept still and quiet, only acknowledging her presence with his eyes. He turned to stare emotionlessly into hers. She frowned for a second before pursing her lips. She put her right hand onto her hips and put the other onto the front part of his plain shirt. Her expression softened, and she reached up to let her hand graze against his cheek._

"_You need to shave." She said, smiling innocently. She stood on her tip toes and kissed him directly on the lips. He now let his demeanor go to return her touch. She broke apart from him a second later. "On second thought, keep it. It tickles a bit."_

"_If you wish for it to stay, it will." He simply replied, not giving any indication as to how he felt about the matter. This caused her to smile even wider._

"_You always were the gentelman, caring about what I think. 'Do what **you **wish,'" she mocked._

_This caused a sudden reaction out of Severus. He quickly came around her, pushing her into the wall he was leaning on. His lips covered her, his tongue trailing along her bottom lip before entering her mouth. She giggled into his mouth, placing her hands on his chest._

_She was not the girl he imagined himself with. She wasn't very intelligent (though she was nowhear near stupid), and she was beautiful in his eyes. Her eyes lit up every time he came into view, and it caused him to question his future and his intentions. '_She's just a muggle,'_ he tried to remind himself. It was of no use. It was too late now._

_He broke apart from her, and she gasped for air before taking his hand. She ran, giving him no choice but to follow her lead. She was so carefree, but he was too at the moment. She had time to play like a small child, but he never could resist her game. It was a dangerous game around him. He was a Slytherin, a soon to be Deatheater._

_She slowed down and came to a complete stop by a nearby stream. She sat down on its edge, finally letting go of his hand. Severus stood from the spot she had finally released him. He looked into the water before turning his attention to her. August 31st was once the best day, but now it was the worst. She grabbed his hand and tugged him until he sat down next to her. They stared into the water silently until she leaned back to look into the sky. Few clouds occupied it._

"_I know you've got things going on that you don't let onto, Severus. Know that I'm always here for you. I'll always be by your side." Her voice was soft yet clear._

_He looked towards her as her face and saw nothing but truth. He wished he could repeat the same to her. He didn't waver as he looked into her eyes. They were a beautiful green, but they somehow were darker than usual. Her face melted away, blond straight hair replaced with silky, brown curls. He watched as her face turned into Hermione's._

His eyes opened again to indeed see that Hermione had once again opened her eyes as well. She was still clutching his hand, but she was in a hushed conversation with Dumbledore. The old man looked almost as displeased with the current situation as he was. He looked around to see that Potter, Evans, Black, and Lupin were still in the same position. He probably didn't drift off for too long.

He berated himself for drifing off at all. He wondered if he should listen to the conversation that was taking place or wait for Hermione to tell him what it was about. He pondered this for a second before the choice was made for him. Dumbledore nodded, grabbing her shoulder gently, squeezing it before walking silently out of the room. The nurse could now be seen making her way into the curtain. Her usual fiery temper was gone, and she sighed loudly, muttering under her breath before walking away again.

No one spoke, and the tension in the room was almost unbearable. Severus silently watched Hermione. She turned to face him, and he swore he could saw a green spark in him. He needed to snap out of this delusional state, but the memory he was flooded with just minutes ago frightened him. He admitted that to himself. Hermione seemed to sense something was wrong. Her voice cut through the air like a knife.

"What's wrong, Severus? Are you alright?" Her voice was weak, but it was still full of concern. This made him frown deeply.

"You're asking me?" He almost scoffed at the question, but he refrained from. She smiled slightly at the rhetorical question he presented. "I'm well. I would ask you, but it seems the answer lies in your current location." He let the words come out in a growl.

He felt like screaming. He wanted to throw things. Something. _Anything_. Kill whatever bastards did this to her. He knew life wasn't fair, but this was mind boggling even to him. How could someone hurt her? How could someone dislike her enough to do this to her? How could she be well enough to ask him how _he_ was? He calmed himself quickly, but something was missing to make his heart stop beating like it was now.

He heard footsteps coming towards him before he saw Potter move to restrain Black (he presumed it was Black) from trying to beat him to a bloody pulp. Severus completely ignored this. He saw Hermione do the same for now, smiling widely before sitting up to look him completely into his eyes.

'_Merlin.'_ He thought to himself as he lost control, his lips crashing onto hers.

A/N: Not a cliffhanger! Ha well sorta not... I dunno. (shakes head) I wonder what their reactions will be? Sevvie and Hermione aren't alone after all... (smirk)

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	12. Chapter 12

On with the show!

Chapter 12:

Merlin. Her face was so cold, her lips so dry. They were both starting to heat up as his hand came to her cheek, his tongue running over her lips. Though she was in a state of pain, she kissed him like she needed him, like she needed to feel him as close as possible. He gave her what she wanted for a few seconds longer before he felt himself being pulled off her and thrown across the room roughly. His head hit the wall of the infirmary. The rest of his body collided with the cold floor.

He laid there for a second, not registering any sort of commotion except for a deep peace within him. He felt a sudden easiness like he wasn't in his own body. He felt light. Then, he snapped back into it. He realized Black was quickly advancing on him, kneeling down with his wand pointing at his throat. Severus almost laughed. Poor, delusional fool had no idea what he was up against. He wasn't a defenseless boy anymore, nor was he innocent. He didn't mind cursing him into oblivion. He would've on the spot, but he realized that Hermione would probably be angry. Let her be angry with Black then.

"Curse me, Black. Show off your irascible temper. It's what'll kill you in the end so why not make the most of it now?" Severus said, his head feeling like it could explode at any second.

"What makes you think I won't kill you on the spot right now, Snape? You've overstayed your welcome and crossed the line by kissing a helpless girl, you worthless piece of crap."

Severus chose to address the first question. "The sad part is that you would kill me, but you don't have the strength to use the killing curse. You're too weak-minded, Black." That was all he managed to say before Potter and Lupin pulled Black away. Lupin took Black's wand and pocketed it along with his own. Potter was whispering into Black's ear, pushing him into a seat. Evans looked confused, but remained in her position of where she was standing with Potter just a second before.

Severus stayed in his position also, leaning against the wall. His hair was messy around his head. His eyes were sharply focused yet staring into nowhere. His robes were partly covering him and partly pooled around him. He stayed like that a second longer before he used the wall to pull himself up. He was surprised no one had come to check on the noise. Either way, he didn't care.

He took his eyes off the blank spot on the wall and let it wander around to the closest thing to where he was. Lupin. He took a deep breath in when he locked eyes with him. He nodded sideways trying his best to put on a small smile. Severus looked to where he nodded and saw Hermione with her lips pursed tightly as she looked at Black and Potter. Then, she turned to him and her eyes slowly softened.

Merlin, he loved those eyes.

It seemed she had gained a bit more energy. He didn't know if it was adrenaline, the effects of a potion she was probably receiving or because of his own remedy to her problems, but whatever it was, he was glad it happened. He ignored everything else for the tenth time today (or at least it felt like that) and made his way to her side. He sat in the chair that was previously occupied by Lupin. He locked eyes with her.

She would be his demise. He'd lost control of everything in his life. He couldn't think straight. He couldn't figure out anything in his life. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore. He had no ability to think rationally. All his old thoughts and emotions (or lack thereof) were long gone. Things had changed so drastically in these past few weeks turned to months. Everything he did was wrong, but he couldn't resist temptation. He felt happy. He felt guilty. He felt love. He felt things he had trained himself over years to not feel. It was all because of her.

Once again, he reiterated to himself that he should hate her. But he couldn't. He **couldn't**. And he should be damned to hell because of that. It'd be better for him and for her, but he couldn't stop thinking about the loud exploding sensation that ran through his body every time she came around or said those words she said to him. Those words which made him lose his train of thought and allow himself to be captured into her eyes. He was never prone to letting emotions through, but obviously that had been changing lately. Now, it was just mocking him. Her eyes were so light. The light color he always loved the most.

"I love you." He simply said, his voice quiet. It still resonated in the room. He felt Black getting up from his chair and staring at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lupin turn away.

"I love you, too." She replied, taking his hand into hers.

And there it was. Those were the words that undid him. He admitted to himself he was scared. He didn't know what happened to her or why. He blamed himself. He blamed her. He blamed the people around him. He wanted to kill whoever did this to her. He never felt such a stronge urge for revenge. Her hand being warmer than it previously was… that was the only reason he didn't go on a killing rampage right this instant.

"I'm going to kill whoever did this." He admitted, putting his other hand over hers, squeezing it slightly. She sat up even further and moved a bit to her left, motioning for him to get on the bed next to her. He obliged to her silent demand.

She smiled up at him. "No. You're better than that, Severus. Professor Dumbledore is handling it. It's being taken care of. You don't always need to be my hero or take responsibility for whatever happens to me." Her voice was stronger than it was before, but it still caused his heart to cringe. She was trying to be so strong. She was _always_ so strong.

"I need to be there to protect you… I know you're not ready now to discuss this now, but I'm presuming that when you are, you'll come to me just as you always do."

She nodded, leaning her head against his shoulder. She closed her eyes, her breathing becoming heavy. The commotion must have tired her out (along with the things that the nurse probably slipped her). As she fell asleep, he lifted her body slightly and moved further onto the bed. He placed her down beside him. She moved close to him, her hands gripping his chest.

Severus sighed. Damn it all to hell. The same thoughts he had when he first saw her popped back into his mind. Another bloody Gryffindor. Another meddlesome, annoying Gryffindor trying to prove themselves. They were all fools. All of them.

He took in another deep breath before allowing his eyes to wander off of her. They were all still there. They were all looking at him. Almost all of their eyes were asking for explanation. Lupin's were directed more to the situation in general than directly at him. Lovely. Now, he was left alone to deal with Black's rash behavior, Potter's incessant stupidity, and… he couldn't really say anything bad about Evans and Lupin at the moment. The werewolf was a werewolf, but he was fully aware of the situation, and Evans always tended to be the reasonable one. They could even speak on cordial terms now.

He looked back down to Hermione. She shivered slightly. He covered her further with the blanket, until just her shoulders and head were uncovered. She was so beautiful when she was sleeping. Her hair seemed wilder than ever, engulfing her head. Her lips were slightly puffed out and parted. Her face seemed completely relaxed. Her body melted into his arms. At least he knew he could keep her safe now. If only the other idiots would realize that and leave them be. He didn't feel in the mood for a confrontation.

He knew the most likely thing to come from Black would be just that. He'd yell and scream and possibly curse or punch Severus if he could get his hands on him (which he couldn't at the moment without disturbing Hermione). He'd have to be pulled back by Potter. After all, Potter was on Evans' tight leash. There was no way he could've changed on his own. The werewolf would look on in a frustrated manner, intervening if the situation was serious enough. Though, he probably wouldn't let anyone get near Hermione.

He wasn't blind enough to not notice the way he looked at Hermione. He saw the same expression reflected in her eyes when Severus was looking at her. Lupin was always at her side. He was always the faithful friend, the _friend_ who always wanted to be more, the _friend _who was _always _there to talk to. He was the sidekick, the backstage, the Mercutio in Hermione's life. He almost pitied Lupin. He was so close, but it was too late. Severus knew he had won. He couldn't give her up now. He wanted to, but he couldn't.

So he watched as Lupin moved to sit into the chair he was sitting in before. He was very close, close enough for Severus to see the heartbroken expression in his eyes. Severus felt himself pulling Hermione slightly closer than she was before. His expression gave away nothing, but the ice behind his eyes was melted. Anyone who looked at this moment could see his concern for Hermione mixed in with the love and devotion he held for her.

"I'm sorry. She… she wanted to go down to the library. She wouldn't let us go with her. James gave her his invisibility cloak, but I should have followed her to make sure she was safe. I should have been there. It's my fault." Remus said quietly.

"It's not," He said shortly.

So that was what happened. She decided to head off on her own after her little midnight escapade with her little Gryffindor friends. She must have taken the invisibility cloak off when she thought she was safe from a patrolling teacher. But how could she have gotten into the library? On Saturday nights it was open until the last person left (he guessed that rule would be changed now). Usually, everyone (excluding himself and Hermione) left by 2A.M. Even then, it was only occupied if there was some sort of big test or a N.E.W.T. review paper was due. Usually, even they only stayed until 3 or 4. The librarian was usually long gone and entrusted them with a key. So, what would possess her to go to the library that late knowing that it was probably locked?

In hopes of finding him. And he wasn't there. She wanted to make sure that he wasn't there waiting for her to make sure he was alright. She came there because she wanted to be with him, because she was concerned for him. And he wasn't there. He wasn't there. Oh Merlin. She probably came and found the library locked. Satisfied that he didn't stay up to wait for her or disappointed that he wasn't there, she probably started to make her way up the staircases to the Gryffindor tower.

But the halls weren't a safe place at night.

As much as the teachers kept under the pretense that everything was under their vigilant eye, students who wanted to get past without being seen, could. Gryffindors who were on their way to cause mischief could easily get by using the passages. Students who longed for a lover's tryst could easily get the patrol lists and meet in classrooms they knew wouldn't be looked into. Slytherins who wanted to cause trouble could easily slip between the cracks. Oh gods.

Slytherins rarely ever spent the night in their rightful dormitories. The upperclassmen tended to be active in the night, either for Voldemort or just because they weren't satisfied with their accommodations. There were passages specially made to get to floo networks that were not controlled. There were rooms that he doubted even the Marauders knew about let alone the teachers. There were things that went on that were dangerous. Too dangerous for a Gryffindor who strayed from her pack.

It was a Slytherin. He had almost no doubt in his mind that it was a Slytherin. They were low. They were despicable. They were manipulative. They were sneaky. And the dangerous ones were smart. They hated Gryffindors. They hated Mudbloods. They were almost all Deatheaters. They wouldn't think twice about killing or badly hurting a Gryffindor if they thought they wouldn't get caught. They'd go to any length to get what they wanted or to feel superior. They had no conscience. They had no sense of compassion.

Oh gods.

Why wasn't he there?

A/N: Muah. I liked the ending of that chapter. Hope y'all did too! Oh, and FYI: I'm getting all new plotlines for this story so it may run longer than I expected if I decide to write them. It'd be my first time writing all the dark Voldemort stuff in depth. So... I dunno.

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	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

He hadn't left. The nurse had told him to leave and had even threatened to put something in his food. Of course, this caused Severus to not eat. After two days of not having meals, she groaned and gave her _blessings_ for him to stay by her bedside. Hermione, of course, was starting to be as fit as usual, but she wasn't allowed to leave until that night. Why? He wasn't sure. Why he had stayed by her side was even more unknown. It wasn't like him to be clingy. He never had been, and he had thought he never would. He was always passive and casual about things.

There was a big difference between obsessive and clingy. She could be on his mind all the time, but that didn't mean she had to be by his side all the time. It didn't mean that she had to be aware of the control she possessed over him. Severus preferred his thoughts being obsessive rather than his body. He preferred his alone time. He was one of those people who enjoyed it more than he enjoyed being around people. People were a nuisance. People caused you trouble. People ruin your life.

But she wasn't just a random person. No, he yearned for her touch. He wanted to be around her. Even if that meant being infuriated beyond belief. Even if it meant him hating himself for it. That was far beyond the point now. He had already gotten past all of that. He managed to admit to himself that he was being incredibly selfish by keeping her around him, by his side, preferably her lips on his. He had a lot of free time while Hermione was on sleeping potions. Too much free time. His thoughts became spastic (which was so incredibly uncharacteristic for him that he wondered if indeed the nurse had slipped him something), his emotions raging. He thought about his life, about his past, about his future, about the course of action he would take toward the scum that caused her to be here.

It was never smart to leave a Slytherin to their own ministrations for so long. They certainly weren't thinking about cooking and baking while their eyes were lit on fire, a smirk crossing their face. No, no, no.

So, when that night finally came, Severus helped Hermione out of bed and held onto her hand while they walked out of the Hospital Wing. He wondered to himself what rumors the Marauders had started if any at all. He didn't expect Sirius Black to be able to keep anything to him about Severus, but since this involved Hermione, he wasn't sure. Only Lily and Remus had come to visit after the confrontation. Potter and Black were probably off being angry at the world somewhere else. That didn't bother him at all. What bothered him was that Hermione was bothered.

She seemed sad and upset that they hadn't come anymore, but she tried to hide it. He didn't expect any less of her, though. She had to put on a brave face, but he knew the truth. The truth was that being friends with the stubborn arses was important to her. When he fully realized that, he knew what he had to do. After dinner that night, he would have a nice chat with Potter and his right hand man about their behavior.

He couldn't think they were being unreasonable. They were Gryffindors, after all. They had foolish pride that would go with them to their grave. For them to realize that they had _lost_ one of their own to a Slytherin, let alone their arch nemesis since they came to Hogwarts, was mind boggling to them. If she was any useless, replacable Gryffindor, he was sure that they would've discarded their friendship by now. But this wasn't just anyone. It was Hermione Granger. She was talented, brilliant, beautiful, and she was one of the most stubborn, idiotic people of the whole pack. She definitely wasn't replacable.

"I'll walk you to the Gryffindor table, if you wish." He offered, knowing it would be futile to tell her to skip dinner all together. The werewolf and the red-head were expecting her, and she wouldn't dream of not facing the school.

The first day, she had walked in with her head high. Now, it would be much harder if people knew of their relationship. It would probably be more difficult for her, psychologically, than it would be for him. If he was shunned, that was fine. Hell, it would be better than fine. If she was shunned, it would kill her. They'd both have to deal with physical threats. Then again, she had managed to come out of a confrontation alright.

"No. You go on to your table, and I'll go to mine. I'll meet you after dinner though, right?" He looked over to her and noticed that she looked as determined as ever. The only difference was that she had a pleading look in her eyes, like she needed him to confirm that he would indeed see her after the meal. His heart panged.

He nodded. "Of course." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it before letting go and opening the doors. They walked through silently before Hermione wished her goodbyes.

There wasn't any kind of a dramatic silence like he half expected. Hogwarts was filled with people who needed drama to fill their lives, but tonight everything seemed perfectly normal. He internally sighed a breath of relief. That was a good sign for him, and it was an excellent sign for her as well. He walked to the far end of the table where he usually sat and sat alone.

He wasn't lucky enough for it to last too long. Hudson slid down a few seats from where he was sitting with two sixth years and two seventh years. His red, shaggy hair was covering his eyes, but it wasn't enough to hide the normal twinkle he possessed. This child would be the first Slytherin version of Dumbledore. Severus tried to ignore him as he spooned himself out some mashed potatoes. He couldn't ignore the piercing eyes for long, that damned twinkle bothering him to no ends.

"And how may I _possibly_ be of assistance to you tonight, Hudson? Mockery? Ridicule? Or would you like to delve into my personal life with your crude assumptions and idiotic comments?" Severus whispered, turning to him.

"Severus, why so angry? I have yet to even do anything to you tonight that you would consider _mockery _or _ridicule_." He paused to deliver a dramatic sigh, "That's what you think of me, is it? Is that what you wish for me to do? Is it a request? A hope? A dream? Do you dream much, Severus?" He ended, a smirk playing on his face as he grabbed a biscuit.

Severus couldn't help but roll his eyes. "You've got quite an active imagination and a diluted sense of humour."

"Oh but Severus, I happen to know that you consider me something along the lines of tolerable if not better. I can see the lack of hatred in your eyes when you roll them! You forget that I too am a Slytherin and can read facial expressions." He said.

"Are you taking lessons from the crazy old man on how to drive people insane? You've gone from tolerable to being insufferable." Severus growled. "But get on with it. Why are you actually here?"

"I'd like to congratulate you on finally making it official and public with one Miss Hermione Granger." Severus' head snapped back to him. So, everyone did know. Then, why wasn't he being attacked at the moment by heated glares and underhand curses? "No, do not worry, Severus. Everyone got off the initial shock, and most think it is just a rumor started by Black."

"I noticed nothing abnormal when I walked in."

"Of course, you didn't." Severus turned to him and waited for him to elaborate. He didn't.

"Elaborate."

"Black and Potter are having kittens about the whole thing, though. They broke out yelling a few days ago right here in the Great Hall. We thought they had gone mad. Evans had to give detentions to them and yell a few choice words before she ushered them out. Quite brilliant. That's how most people found out. They only mentioned that you were with her in the infirmary. People assume you have some sort of friendship or acquaintanceship. I don't think most people realized the implications of how deep the relationship actually goes. We don't have the brightest people here. And the people who are bright mostly don't care. Our housemates… that's another problem all together." Hudson clapped him on the back, squeezing his shoulder before standing up. "I'm off. I've got last minute homework to do. All of yours is sitting on your bed. I recommend starting on it."

He nodded, his thoughts starting to reel. To be honest, Severus half thought that the second he stepped into the room that Slytherins and Gryffindors alike would be trying to murder him. No one seemed to care. They knew they were friends but didn't care. How could Slytherins possibly not care? They must've gone mad or not catch onto it. And then it hit him.

They were either playing with his head, or they thought he was using her. He looked over to a group of Deatheaters and stared for a second, his black eyes determined to get their attention. When two of them looked over, they nodded at him, smirking. Bloody hell. Now he had to spy on her or something of the equivalent or else they would kill him. The Dark Lord had surely found out that he had a Mudblood companion. He assumed it was to get inside information for a raid or something of the sort. If he didn't provide the information, they would both be killed.

Fuck. He hadn't thought about that either. He had spent his time in the infirmary, his thoughts scattered, his only remaining energy being used to try to figure out how to get revenge on the bastard that put her there. Now, he was out of the infirmary. He had to deal with real life. He had to deal with the consequences of his actions. He had to deal with the danger he put himself and her in. He had to deal with the mess he had created. He had to deal with the bastards that helped create it. Potter and Black. Merlin, damn them.

Severus pushed away his dinner, feeling sick. He tried to search his mind for any memory of when the next Deatheater meeting was. He had to talk to Hermione before then. He had to do something to fix this. Should he stage a public fight with her to make the Slytherins think he wasn't in ranks with her anymore? He was losing his wits. That would be stupid. He _knew _couldn't do that. Now that he had spent days with her by his side, he didn't think he could go back to only talking to her nightly. He had to be around her for his sanity. So, what could he do?

Well, first he had to talk to Black and Potter. He had to fix what was wrong between them and Hermione. He could even possibly get some sort of approval (that he truly didn't want) and get information from them. No. That wouldn't work. They would never be able to talk to him civilly, and he would never be able to look at them without hatred in his eyes. He could deal with Evans and Lupin, but there was no way in hell he would deal with Potter and Black. No way in hell.

So, what could he do? You-Know-Who could call for him at any second, and if he didn't have some sort of cover story or fake plan or reasoning, he was as good as dead. She was as good as dead. That left him with two options: Dumbledore or death.

He contemplated this for a second before he resigned and chose the first.

A/N:

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	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

He stood up from the table, leaving the food he had gotten relatively untouched and made his way towards the doors. He had to think. He had to think about what he'd say to Dumbledore. He had to think of a way to get him out of this. He was not rational nor did he think of the consequences the night he first went to Hermione. He had made a mistake and let his emotions get to him. That's why he refused to feel or let emotions show. Bad things happened. And this was the worst of the worst.

He had to sell out the woman he loved which would lead to him probably having to kill her, or he would deal with the consequences of admitting that he wasn't just with her to spy on her. That would lead to both of their deaths. Merlin. Either way, he was fucked. Fucked. Utterly fucked, for lack of better terms. But no. He couldn't think that way. That wasn't a rational way of thinking. If thinking irrationally had gotten him into this, thinking rationally would get him out. Dumbledore. Yes. Dumbledore would be his solution.

The old man was demented; he was utterly crazy. He was driven by love and emotion and colorful things running happily together through a meadow while former Deatheaters gathered in a circle to sing folk songs. But he was brilliant. Severus would give him that. He was probably a lot more powerful than the Dark Lord, but he had a lot of flaws (one of which was to not use his power). So, he'd go to Dumbledore and tell him he had made a mistake. He would explain how Hermione had changed him and how his lack of better judgment endangered both of their lives. Dumbledore, doing his part, would tell Severus how to handle Deatheaters or something. Anything. As long as Hermione was safe, he didn't care if he died.

Death would probably be his only escape though it'd be a coward's way out.

He grabbed his head. He was thinking too quickly, and it was giving him a headache. His head was spinning, and he felt himself getting dizzy. Then, he felt his forearm burn. He rolled up his sleeve and noticed the normal blackened and charred skull glowing brightly in the dim light of the corridor he had now walked into. Fucked, he was. Yes. Utterly fucked.

He leaned against a door opposite of a torch that was magically lit. He closed his eyes for a second, willing the glow, whose source was his Dark Mark, to disappear. His beady black eyes opened and shifted, noticing that it was still there. He stayed still for another few seconds, clearing his mind. He breathed deeply, all images of Hermione and Dumbledore disappearing. He felt his mind being searched, and that was probably the reason for his thoughts going so quickly. He was glad that he had learned to mentally block things from outsiders. He knew that You-Know-Who was likely to distrust him because he was so different from the other Deatheaters. He had a conscience, a soul, and he didn't want to kill.

He closed his eyes for a second again before taking a passage out of the castle. He walked swiftly towards the gates, noticing people in black robes heading that way too. Severus' stride sped up to meet with them. He noticed them disappear in black flames the second they stepped outside the gates. He took a deep breath and braced himself before he followed.

He felt his body burning as it seemed to travel in a fashion very different from apparation. Then, a second later he felt his feet roughly make contact with the ground. He blinked, feeling the familiar feel of a mask covering his face. He looked through the slits of it, noting he was in the front of a very large circle of Deatheaters. Briefly looking around, he noted that they were in a forested area. The moon was bright, in an early phase. They looked to be not far from Hogsmeade judging by the stars he could see. Bracing himself, he waited for another few minutes in silence before he saw people next to him begin to get onto their knees.

He followed suite, his eyes noting a hooded figure he knew to be He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named now gliding into the center of the circle. Severus let his gaze drop to the ground, willing himself not to be disgusted at the wizard before him.

"Welcome, my followers. You have all been called here unexpectedly because I have suspicions that some of you are not as loyal as I previously thought." He stopped there for a second, and Severus saw his robes moving around among them. There were gasps among the group. "Silence. I've given you all what you wanted. Power and fame. But there are people among us who dare to betray me."

He felt himself being lifted to his feet in a standing position and was glad to see that everyone around him was doing the same. There was silence once again in the circle as the Dark Lord came into the center again. He spun on his heels until he looked in the direction opposite of Severus. Sighing a breath of relief, Severus watched as a young man who wanted out was tortured mercilessly while surrounding reactions varied from laughing to cringing.

He put on a blank face, and it didn't change until he felt his feet touch outside of the Hogwarts gates. He couldn't go back.Not tonight. So, he summoned his broom and mounted it. He flew in the direction of Hogsmeade, but he wasn't quite sure that's where he was going. That was because he wasn't sure in general if he was even going anywhere or if he was running away from something. He threw his deatheater's mask from the sky in disgust as he was passing over thick foliage.

The night's air was crisp. It was cool. It was refreshing. It was exactly what he needed. He hadn't had room to think. All of his thoughts were consumed with Hermione and the situation he had gotten himself into. What was wrong with him? He was usually so in control of his life. That's the way he liked it. He'd block out emotions and think things through logically. He didn't think with his heart. Love was a weakness. A WEAKNESS. And yet, he was succumbing to it.

What exactly had come out of him loving Hermione? His thoughts had become so scattered that they were hard to decipher at times, and to be quite frank, sometimes even random. He couldn't calculate through situations anymore to see what the probability was of him getting what he wanted to see what course of action he could take. He hadn't gained that back until just that night. He had been consumed. It echoed in his mind, realizing that no matter what path of thoughts he took, it always led him back to one place.

So, why was he thinking more clearly now than he had in weeks? It was because she was not present. He didn't have to play the hero for her anymore or make sure that everything in her life was going well. He didn't have to watch for her being hurt or killed nor did he have to blame himself for every thing that went wrong in her life. Why had this particular night cleared him, though? Why was it that it took a three hour Deatheater meeting to clear his mind?

Severus found himself flying to a coast of some sort. Had it really been long enough to where he'd be by an ocean now. He found his answer as he noticed a lighthouse on a rocky part of the shore. He felt attracted to the bright light, and he flew over to it, landing on the rocky part it was situated on. He sat down, feeling a light mist washing over him.

Why was his life so different now than it was before her? Why had she had such an effect on him? Why did he come out of his shell and stop being the cold, heartless bastard he was before? Why was he sitting on a murky shore in some random Muggle city?

He discarded his robe when he started to gather sweat beads on his forehead. It was quite humid. He closed his eyes before leaning back, letting the spray of the ocean wash on him. His broom rested on the side of his body, some of the twigs snapping as they roughly hit the rock. He absorbed the smell of the water. It had been so long since he had been near an ocean. Too long.

And then found the answer to all of his problems. It wasn't a solution. It was an answer. He let himself. He let himself be manipulated, duped into falling for the witch. He had been dumb enough to abandon his principles. He didn't think twice before rushing out to see her in the hospital wing. He didn't think twice about sharing his past with her. He didn't think twice about kissing her. That wasn't like him at all. He always thought everything through so thoroughly that even his thoughts were organized.

And that was her fault. How she had managed to get through skin as thick as his, he didn't know. He realized that she knew everything about him, and he knew nothing about her. That took a talented spy, a good manipulator. Which is what it came down to. She manipulated him. There was no question. She let him come to her each time even when she was at fault… even when she was being a harlot off with the bloody werewolf. Every time, she'd said nothing, and he'd said everything.

This murky, damp spring evening was proof that she had manipulated him. Severus had to go to a Deatheater and see someone tortured to realize his place. His place was with the Deatheaters. His place was with his fellow heartless, cold bastards like he once was. Severus was meant to live his life torturing the weak and exploiting fears for his advantage. He was pre-destined to live a life of solitude except when he came out to play.

And play he would. Muggle raids and wizard torturing. He would strike fear into the souls of everyone whose path he crossed. That's how Severus would get the power he so desperately desired. That's what he truly wanted. He wanted power, and power he told himself he would get.

That decision left him in quite an awkward position. What would he do with Hermione, and how would he handle the Slytherins? He couldn't deny that he loved her, but that would soon change. He would distance himself from her, no matter how much it hurt him. He would make sure that she wasn't to be hurt by the Dark Lord, but first he'd have to work himself up in the ranks. He'd have to use every ounce of wit and talent to get him exactly where he needed to be. For his own sanity, and for hers.

He'd participate in every raid with enthusiasm and kill as many people as he could. He would work this conscience he had developed out of him, and he would once again enjoy killing. It was inevitable that it would happen anyway. She was bound to get tired of him or frustrated with him and move on. She would find a nice, attractive Gryffindor boy who would satisfy her needs and look good on her arm as she displayed him to her friends.

She could do a lot better than someone with hair that was just a little too long, skin that was a little too pale, and eyes that were a little too dark… and a heart that would only cause pain in the end. So, he would end it slowly, for the best of her. And maybe if they both survived this war, in thirty years, they could maybe form some sort of understanding and see what happened.

But for now, he knew what he had to do. For himself.

**A/N: Like it? Love it? Wanna wish me a HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN?!**

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	15. Chapter 15

Enjoy!

Chapter 15:

He knew that she had probably been waiting for him after dinner, but that was of no concern to him now as he walked down the halls. He got back just after four in the morning. It was pointless of him to go down to his common room now. The Baron roamed the dungeons at this time, and he was likely to stop him for a very long chat about happenings in the dark circle. That was not something that Severus wanted to chat about at the moment.

So, he found himself taking the familiar course he usually took towards the library. He knew it was locked, but he also knew that any wards she (the librarian) had placed on it, he could easily break. He had had long, extensive lessons in curse-breaking, and he knew that some of this could be applied to breaking and entering. It always worked. Light magic was too easy to manipulate with dark magic. He smirked, as he found himself standing in front of the worn doors. The smirk slid off when he noticed the door had no signs of magic.

He pushed it open, looking automatically towards the front desk. The keeper was not there. That meant that someone she entrusted with the key was here. _She_ was here. He fought with himself of whether to look for her or just retreat away from the library. He could find anything he wanted here in the room of requirement. But, the room of requirement didn't quite smell the way thousands of years of books did. He took another few steps before he heard someone whispering. In the dead of the night, it was easy to hear.

His skills in being undetected flooded into his veins as he quietly walked toward the voice, hiding in the shadows of the darkness and the protection of the bookcases. He noticed two people at a table. One of them was obviously Hermione. The unruly hair she had never managed to tame (nor did she try) was spread across the table as her face was buried inside a book. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was slow. She sometimes fell asleep in his arms like that. He could almost feel her.

The voice gave away the other person. It was soft, emotion flowing through it, and yet it was deep and masculine. It was the wolf. Severus should have expected it to be, but jealousy still coursed through his body. He stood, watching as the wolf whispered her name, stroking her hair until she finally stirred from her rest. Her voice was weak, as it whispered something so quietly that even he couldn't hear it. Then, she sat up. She blinked a few times before her eyes landed on Lupin.

"There's been a Deatheater meeting tonight, Hermione. I'm not sure if you knew that already." He said quietly.

Hermione's face went from bewilderment to understanding before it rested on exasperation. "I didn't remember. I'm getting too caught up in this. I'm doing exactly what Ron was so afraid of. I'm jeopardizing everything because I've been so selfish."

Her eyes started to water. He ignored the pang in his heart as she leaned her head down and hunched over the table. Her hair fell over her face as silent sobs were emitted from her shaking body. He hated himself. He didn't want to overhear another Lupin/Hermione conversation. He knew it would lead to jealousy and ultimately letting himself fall deeper in love. It also angered him that the only way he could get deep inside her heart was through listening in on her conversation with someone else. She didn't trust him with anything she was feeling.

"There's nothing wrong with that. After everything you've done, everything you're doing… You deserve everything. Everything, Hermione." The wolf growled softly, taking her into his arms. He embraced her tightly.

Her head leaned on his shoulder. She stopped crying, but she was still snifflng slightly. "Thank Merlin for you, Remus. You've been so reliable, so trustworthy, so strong for me this entire time. You're a good man, and you'll always be my best friend." She spouted, her eyes closing as her head moved to rest in the crook of his neck.

"I'm glad for that. I could never lose you, though I know I will for a while. How long do you have left?"

"Just under a month. One month, Remus, and I'll have to go back. I feel like I haven't done anything." She answered. The exasperation reappeared in her voice.

He stepped back towards the front of the library, letting himself out. One month? School had more than one month left, and yet she would be leaving. Why would she be leaving? What was she planning on doing? Was she going back to her own school? Was she going back to old friends and possibly a lover? What was she doing that she could not tell him about? Questions poured into his mind. The more questions that were left unanswered, the more he knew the answers to, ironically.

Did she trust him? Obviously not if she could "love" him and yet not tell him something she had told the wolf. Was it maybe something unimportant? He almost snorted at that one. She would be leaving, and she hadn't uttered a word about it. Obviously, once again, she did not trust him. Didn't love entail trust? Severus had trusted her with everything. He repressed so many thoughts and questions about suspicions he had, and now they were coming back to bite him in the arse. He knew nothing about her. He didn't know who she truly was. He didn't know what she wanted. He didn't know about her past. He knew faint memories of past friendships, but he didn't even know the extent of her relationship with Lupin so how could he expect to know about anything else in dept? He couldn't. It was his mistake, in the end.

People always left. He should have realized that from the beginning. It didn't matter if it was his fault or if it wasn't. In the end, people were just not meant to be around him. His parents left. His first love left. His childhood friends left. Now, Hermione would be leaving. It would all be for the better that he spent this time slowly acclimating to her being gone. At least now he knew and had some time to adjust to it.

But knowing Hermione, this wouldn't be easy. He mused to himself how she would take it as he made his way to the room of requirement. Oh, he could ignore her, but she'd persist. She was annoying like that. She'd pick and pick and pick at him until she got to the root of the issue. He could explode at her, and she'd sit there with a blank look on her face until she nodded in understanding. It wasn't one of those sympathetic half nods so many people gave him when they found out anything about his past. You could tell that she understood but didn't pity.

He could try to avoid her, but he would fail miserably. It was impossible. Slytherins and Gryffindors were forever destined to have an impossible amount of classes together. It was even worse with the N.E.W.T. classes. Either way, he'd see her many times during the day. Even if he managed to avoid her during classes, meals would be another thing. Avoiding meals wouldn't be easy at all. He could _not _show up in the Great Hall, but she would find him in the kitchens or break into his room to find him brooding. That left him with one option: being cruel.

He'd be nasty, unkind, hateful, malicious, callous, and just plain mean. He'd have to be so grossly heartless to her that she wouldn't even try to dig deeper. He'd keep it up for a few weeks, and then she'd be gone… out of his life forever. She would probably give up beforehand anyway. He knew it would be hard, but he had enough anger and spite to carry him forward in this plan.

He arrived at the room of requirement, not thinking twice about a door already there. He entered, noting that there was already someone there before he saw who it was. He scanned the room quickly, damning everything to hell when he noticed the insufferable, old man occupying a seat. Severus would have already bolted for the door, but he knew it was futile. Dumbledore's maddening eyes were already twinkling in anticipation at the lovely chat that was to come.

"Come dear boy, and have a seat." Dumbledore demanded in a cheerful voice, motioning across a coffee table.

The room looked like a cross between a lounge and a family room. There was a bookshelf against one whole wall and shelves full of pictures on another. Portraits and landscapes hung the walls. Oddly enough, they weren't moving. They didn't seem to be alive. In the center of the room, there was a colorful rug with a coffee table in the middle. There was a sofa, a loveseat, and two recliners surrounding the glass coffee table. Candles were lit on the bookshelves and on the table.

"I simply adore Hogwarts! I've been here too many years for my mind to remember, and yet I seem to discover new things every day. I was taking a stroll to clear my head when a door appeared. I'm not sure if it will appear again, but it was a pleasant surprise to find this! It's just what I needed!" Dumbledore said, glee in his voice.

"Yes, Hogwarts is quite interesting." Severus answered nonchalantly, his voice emotionless and bored.

"Yes, yes. We're on the same page then! When I was just a student here, I remember often finding my mind too full to think! There's only so much a wizard's brain can take in, after all. I was a stubborn child and did not take up the practice of talking about what was on my mind. I didn't want to bother people with my problems because I thought they were insignificant compared to other people's, but I couldn't examine them clearly from my own perspective while I had so many other things floating about. My headmaster suggested I use a pensieve. I'm sure you know what that is, my boy."

Severus nodded. The headmaster's words perked his interest. The old man knew he had a similar problem, and that's why he was bringing it up.

"How to get a pensieve, though… That was my problem. Of course, I happened to stumble across a room I believe may have been around here where there were pensieves for the taking! I couldn't believe my luck. I still use some of the ones I found though I do find myself talking about _truly_ pressing issues. I know that if any student came to me wanting to talk about something of importance… regrets or redemptions, for example, that I would openly open my office door to the young wizard or witch." Dumbledore paused, smiling.

Severus thought about killing him right then and there. He knew it probably wouldn't be _that_ easy, but he did imagine plenty of painful ways he could hurt or impale Dumbledore. The old man and his _all knowing_ ways infuriated him. He knew exactly what was going on in his life. He kept himself from growling by biting down on his tongue and clenching his jaw. He pretended to look uninterested though he knew that wouldn't work.

"However, I know that some people are very much like myself in those ways. It took me years to ask for help on one problem, I regret to admit. It's definitely quite a challenge to change; don't you think, Severus?" He paused for a second, knowing he wouldn't get an answer. "So, I can only hope that any student who needs a pensieve will stumble upon that same room that I stumbled upon so many years ago." Dumbledore paused again before he stood up. "I do think it's time to get into bed for a few more hours. Goodnight, Mr. Snape." With that, he left.

Damn Dumbledore.

A.N: If you've kept a time line going on this story, you know that sometimes months pass between chapters. You've probably also caught on to the fact that there's one month to go. Mmmm... It's slowly winding down, and I sort of know where I want this story to go. This chapter is point A, and I know where point B is... Issue is that you can't go straight from point A to point B if there are a lot of obstacles in the way. Wish Snivellus and Hermy-owny good luck. They're in for a tough ride.

A/N:

**Like it? Love it? Wanna steal my french music from me "**Aux Champs-Elysees, aux Champs-Elysees. Au soleil, sous la pluie, a midi ou a minuit. Il y a tout ce que vous voulez aux Champs-Elysees" **and never let it see the light of day again?**

**REVIEW! Push that damned button.**

**You know what to do.**

**And you know you want to. ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Man, that was a long wait for a chapter, eh? (Smiles and ducks from flying fruit and...hey, was that a knife?) Anyway, last chapter sucked, to be quite blunt and obvious (unlike that knife you threw at me). I was not about to let this chapter do the same. So, I wrote the chapter a few weeks ago. I then tossed it out and rewrote it. That one was destroyed. Then, I made another draft during a creative writing free day. Of course, that class had me all creatived-out. Finally, yesterday in less than one hour's time, I took pen to paper and wrote this chapter. Yay for flu induced creativity. I actually like it even though it's a bit longer than usually. I hope you will, too!

Enjoy!

Chapter 16:

Severus paced in front of the room impatiently. His thoughts were scattered, and it was difficult to concentrate on exactly what he needed. The last two times, he found himself in a room with many comfortable looking beds. The time before that, he found a mirror that showed Hermione in it wearing a very revealing outfit (lace was very much to his liking) and motioning him to come forward. He supposed that it was the elusive Mirror of Erised's naughty little brother, the Mirror of Lust (or Tsul as it said on the frame). The time before that, he found himself in a potion's lab. What he wanted right now seemed to be the one thing he couldn't think about. Fate was as evil as Dumbledore and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named combined. He growled, opening the door to find himself face-to-face with Divination books on cheating fate. Severus allowed himself to snort at the irony before he viciously slammed the door shut. It gave a disapproving bang before disappearing.

"Concentrate." He whispered to himself before he pictured a room full of penseives and started to pace. "I need to empty my head. I need a place where I can let go of my thoughts." He walked back and forth quickly while saying this before a door appeared. He opened the door as a voice rang out.

"Talking to yourself again, Snape?"

The door shut unceremoniously, and Severus turned to face the speaker, already knowing who it was because of the annoying low rumble of the voice. It sounded exactly the same as a filthy mut growling.

"Black." He acknowledged in a disinterested voice, now facing the shaggy-haired Marauder.

Sirius Black stood, smirking as he pocketed a now blank piece of parchment. He shook his head slightly, his long, black hair now framing his darkened eyes. He stepped forward. "We need to talk, Snape."

His tone of voice and lack of insults alerted Snape that this was not to be a pleasant and frivolous or even teasing visit. He pointed to the door. It seemed to emit a glow of energy, beckoning the two boys in.

Severus nodded, a blank look on his face as he stepped into the room. Finally, it seemed to be exactly what he wanted it to be. It had a comfortable arm chair with a table full of penseives next to it. Severus had no time to think that he was stepping into the lion's den. By the time he turned around to face Black again, he saw the door shut, and Black was drawing his wand.

Severus didn't panic. He simply followed suite, drawing his own wand. He relaxed as Black transfigured a bookshelf into another armchair that looked less comfortable than the one Severus had secured for himself. It infuriated him to see Black not even flinch at the wand pointed straight at him. Black simply sat down in one sweeping motion, placing his wand securely somewhere in the depths of his long, blue robes.

"Put it away, and sit down, Snape." Black barked out.

"I think I'll stay standing, thanks. What do you need, Black?" Severus asked. He wanted to sit down, feeling tired from a long day, but he did not want to take orders from Potter's right hand man.

"Suit yourself." Black shrugged before continuing, "I've been hearing talks of an attack close to the castle." Sirius said, his voice becoming dark and solemn.

"What does that have to do with me?" Severus replied, his eyes focused on Black. He hadn't heard of any plans to attack the castle at the last Deatheater meeting. He doubted that the Dark Lord would plan an attack on or around Hogwarts without informing the new recruits who lived there.

"Cut the innocent act, Snivellus. I know you're a Deatheater scumbag. I just would have figured that you'd care a little more about Hermione. She's the only one who will ever give you a chance, and you don't seem to care that she may die soon. Then again, can a heartless bastard like you care?" Sirius' eyes were lit on fire, his voice angry.

Severus' heart panged the second that Black mentioned Hermione. Ignoring the obvious insult on himself, he addressed the more pressing matter at hand. "What about Hermione?" Snape asked, his eyes betraying his calm demeanor.

"Nothing. Look, whatever Snape. I hope that one day you look back onto your meaningless life and remember the one girl, the only girl, who ever truly cared about you, and you killed her." With that, Black stood up, sending his chair flying backwards as he strode out of the room.

Severus sat silently. That was probably the reason he didn't know of the attack if there truly was one being planned near Hogwarts. If an attack was planned in the area that related to Hermione somehow, then one of the other Deatheaters probably told the Dark Lord of his infatuation with the girl, and he would be thus excluded from the plans. That was the only scenario that he could think of where he would be excluded from the plans. Severus had tightly locked out all traces of his feelings for Hermione during the countless times that his mind was being probed by the Dark Lord. He sighed in frustration.

Standing up from the comforts of his chair, Severus disregarded the pensieves and stormed out of the room. He walked quickly, his robes billowing as he turned the corner. There, he found the statue he was looking for. It was of Alexander Whartsby, the first (and only) giant to ever complete a school of witchcraft and wizardry. It wasn't to scale luckily, and Severus quickly found his tongue. He pulled it, backing away as it spit in disgust. It opened the passage door he was looking for.

Going down a long, spiral staircase, he encountered a door at the very bottom. He opened it, finding himself just steps away from the familiar portrait of the Slytherin Common Room. He took the steps quickly, muttering the password, "Riddle," before he walked into the common room. His eyes scanned the room which was decorated from ceiling to floor in expensive, green fabrics. Severus' eyes fell upon a group of seventh years who seemed to be discussing something of relative importance. He made his way across the room, noticing that there was a strong, magical barrier around them. That was most likely the reason that there weren't any younger years lingering around, trying to overhear things they shouldn't.

Severus felt a sensing ward running a check over his body as he took one final step. The magic left his body, and Severus could now hear the quiet conversation which was taking place.

"What is the meaning of this?" Snape snapped, a deep grown gracing his previously blank features.

The conversation halted, and the seventh year Deatheaters turned to face Severus. The smirks on their faces turned into blank expressions. Only Trevors had a sneer plastered on his face. "Nothing that is of concern to you or your little Mudblood, Snape." The brown-haired boy spat out in a superior manner. The rest of the Deatheaters remained uncharacteristically quiet, one nudging Trevors in his side.

"By the look on your rash face and the obvious reference to the Mudblood, even though I hadn't mentioned her, tells me otherwise." Snape sneered down at Trevors. "Tell me what is going on here before I curse you into shreds."

"That's a precocious threat from someone who is left out of important Deatheater meetings because of his tie to Mudbloods and halfbreeds." Trevors barked, standing up to face Severus.

"It's not a threat anymore, you dimwit. You just spouted out exactly the information I came to you for. I came to you specifically, Trevors, because I knew that I could count on you and your irrational, temperamental mouth to let go of information that you've been entrusted to keep confidential. If you truly just told me the information you weren't supposed to have, I'll look forward to seeing the Dark Lord torture you until you lose your small mind." Severus smirked, grabbing Trevors' wand out of his hand and pocketing it.

Trevors lunged at him, but Severus had his own wand drawn and was silently stunning his fellow Deatheater before he even had a chance to make contact. Severus smirked down at the boy lying on the ground before eying the motionless Deatheaters who were silently staring at Snape, their expressions still blank.

"I respect your orders to leave me without information, gentlemen." With that said, Snape turned on his heel and walked through the almost empty common room and out the entrance.

So, the Dark Lord had his eyes on Hermione. This confirmed his suspicions that there was definitely something the little chit wasn't telling him. There had to be something she knew or possessed that would make her worth the risk of having a full combat with Dumbledore himself. This worried Snape immensely. There were only seldom times that the Dark Lord didn't get exactly what he wanted. If he wanted Hermione, he would not be stopped until he got her.

It had been weeks now since Severus had spoken to her. He could still remember the hurt expression on her face when he glared at her in the hall as she walked by. He could still remember her soft touch when she tried to reason with him. He could still see the single tear that she allowed to flow down her face when Severus harshly told her it was over. Now, Severus had to deal with worrying about her life, trying to protect her while remaining loyal to the Dark Lord.

"Snape." He heard his name being said for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He recognized the voice immediately to be Hudson's. What worried Severus was the tone of voice that his name was being said in. It was curt and hurried, fear ringing through it.

Severus turned to face Hudson, stopping his journey to the Great Hall for dinner. "What is it?"

"They're going after Hermione." Hudson said in a hushed whisper. The boy's usually bright eyes were now dull and dark, almost a shade of midnight.

Severus let down his guard and allowed himself to sign in exasperation. In an uncharacteristic move, he took his long, pale fingers and ran them through his slick, black hair. "I know." Severus admitted, allowing himself to slump against the wall in a display of frustration and weakness.

"What do you mean you know?" Judson's eyes were almost ablaze with fire, the anger protruding into his voice.

Severus let his chin drop down, his hair drooping over his cold, black eyes. His hand went into his robe's inner pockets, and he retrieved the wand he took from Trevors. He eyed it for a second before standing up straight and snapping it. He let the two pieces fall on the floor before he raised his eyes to meet Hudson's.

"I just found out via Black, and Trevors," Severus pointed to the broken bits on the floor, "confirmed it. No one else was willing to provide me with any information."

This answer seemed to pacify Hudson for now. "What do you plan to do about it?"

"Nothing." Severus replied, his voice emotionless once again.

"Nothing?" He echoed in disbelief.

"Nothing." Severus reiterated. "What did you expect me to do, ride in gallantly on a white horse and rescue Granger?"

"No, I didn't. I expected you to at least show a little compassion for the women who let herself fall in love with you. I expected you to at least think of some way to warn her to try to protect her." Hudson said, his voice raw.

"Well, I'm quite sorry to disappoint you, but I am a Deatheater. I pledged my allegiance to the Dark Lord. I have this ugly scar to prove it." Snape lifted his robe sleeve to show the Dark Mark glowing on his forearm.

"No, don't use mistakes as an excuse, Snape. I know you better than that. You love her, but you're too afraid to save her life. You're nothing more than a coward, Snape." Hudson spat.

Snape had never seen him so angry, and he knew he was right. Even if he died in the process, he had to do something for Hermione. "When?" Snape asked, rubbing his forehead before he lifted his chin again to face his house mate.

"Tomorrow."

A/N: I wrote the very last few paragraphs of this story because I knew exactly how I wanted it to end, and now I'm excited about the end. Usually, I'm sad and weirded out, but I'm really excited about this particular ending because it just fits SO well. Anyway...

One or two chapters left. I'm not exactly sure what I had planned out. We'll see what happens. It'll be 1.5 chapters or one long chapter. I'm not much for writing battle scenes. Do be prepared for a sequel though. I want to get it well under way before marching season rolls around again. That means that an update shouldn't be too far away this time.

**Like it? Love it? Wanna make me try out for DCI?**

**REVIEW! Push that damned button.**

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**And you know you want to. ;)**


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: The rating's been taken down from M to T. There will not be a sexual scene or anything too gory in this story, I've decided. It will be saved for the sequel. I didn't feel intimacy appropriate thus far, and I'm sticking with my gut instinct. My M readers will hopefully not mind (what's left of you, anyway). All you T readers, welcome. You've joined at a good time as this is the second to last chapter, and the last one is more than halfway written.

This is 17/18. There will not be an epilogue as my mind is already reeling around a sequel.

Dedication: Severus-Fan

Enjoy

Chapter 17

"Fool," Severus mumbled to himself. _He_ was standing there with her, a smile tugging at his corners. Severus watched helplessly as his younger self brushed a strand of her golden hair away from her face. She leaned into his touch. Young Severus put his hand on her cheek, letting his thumb brush over her pouty, pink lips.

"Severus," the girl in the pensieve purred, her voice trembling, her lips quivering beneath his touch, "I'll miss you so much when you 're gone. I wish you could stay and go to school here."

"You know my mother would never allow me to leave my school," Young Severus replied as he pulled her closer with his left hand.

"It's not like your private school could be _that_ much better than ours," She said stubbornly.

Severus watched as his younger self said nothing. He then suddenly took her wrist and pulled her deeper into the forested area. Severus felt himself being pushed along by the magical boundaries. As the two walked in front of him, Seveurs watched the sunlight become more scarce. It was being filtered in by the tall oaks that were firmly rooted in the ground. Plants littered the floor.

The younger version of Seveurs stopped suddenly. He pushed his girlfriend against a tree trunk and smashed his lips against hers. Just as this happened, the memory changed. He was now in a dark clearing, the only light coming from his young self's wand and the moonlight. The wand was pointed at a still body on the ground. Both the past and present versions looked away briefly, knowing all too well what was on the ground. The scene before them was that of the young girl they had grown fond of, laying on the ground motionless. Her eyes were open, showing an eerie dullness in her previously blissful, emerald eyes. Her now dirtied blonde hair hung still around her face, hugging her deathly pale features.

Severus turned back around, remembering this memory all too well. His younger self bent down and fell to his knees, dropping his wand unceremoniously on the ground next to her body. He took one of his arms and slid it under her back and propped her up. She hung lifelessly in his arms. His head slumped against her chest, listening for a heartbeat that wasn't there.

After several moments of silence, Severus heard a sigh from behind him. Alarmed, he raised his wand and turned away from his memory. Who would dare to invade his private thoughts and memories? The answer came in the form of a sandy-haired Marauder.

"That's why you keep pushing Hermione away," Remus deduced astutely.

"Do not speak of things which you do know know or understand, wolf," Severus barked, glaring at the man before him.

"Oh, come now, Severus. I've been watching these memories just as you've been reliving them. I am not blind."

"Seeing is not the same as understanding," Severus countered. "Have you come to brag of your triumph over me? For if you have, your glory is short-lived."

Anger flashed in Remus' eyes; they obtained a yellow tint as his hair began to stand up straight. He looked angry, and though Severus wouldn't admit this, it scared him. He knew what an angered werewolf was like. Not only had he seen the ones who fought on the Dark Lord's side, but he had almost been killed by the one standing in front of him, when he fell into Black's little trap. If it wasn't for Potter suddenly growing a conscience, he would have to live with this nasty infliction for the rest of his life, or worse, he would be dead.

Though Severus' demeanor remained the same, he lowered his wand and let the werewolf know that he was not a threat. The full moon wasn't scheduled for at least another two weeks, Severus noted gladly.

"You're a bastard, Snape," Remus hissed out in a very Slytherin-like manner, though his eyes turned blue again, and his hair flattened a bit. "You don't care about her. If you did, you wouldn't be stewing in your memories, while she prepares for a war.

"You know, Snape, she came to me after her first day here and asked me what I thought about her building a friendship with you. I wished her good luck and laughed a little at the determination in her eyes. I watched for weeks as her eyes lit up when she saw you, then darken in denial when I told her she was falling in love.

"I remember the way she cried in my arms when you booted her aside like an old broomstick. I remember the way she'd stare out the window blankly and throw on an empty smile when Lily or James asked her if she was alright. I always knew what days you treated her well because she smiled during the lectures she gave to James and Sirius, and she always gave me an extra tight hug before kissing me on the cheek and skipping out the portrait hole, giving a wink to Lily." He paused here for a second, and Severus thought that he may have been done.

Then, he continued, "It was hard for me not to rip you apart those days that you felt she wasn't worthy. Hell, it was hard to not do it the days you thought she was," Remus remarked with a sarcastic huff of air. "It's hard being a rational best mate to the girl you fell in love with."

As the wolf's eyes dropped to the ground and his lips quivered before turning into a sad smile, it was difficult for Severus to replace the pity he felt for a vicious 'I knew it!' Severus felt himself being pulled out of the pensieve, and he found himself face to face with the wolf again. Only this time, he was in the room of requirement.

"I could always handle it, though, as long as she was happy in the end, but now it's different. She's leaving tonight, Snape, and you're going to pull your head out of your arse and make things right."

The wolf's eyes flashed with anger, and Seveurs knew this left no room for debate. Then, anger settled itself over Severus.

"Do not concern yourself with what I do," Severus sneered. "I opened myself up to the girl, and in return, she told me nothing. Then, she ran to you and told you everything. How is it that I'm supposed to trust her, when she hides things from me? I did not even know she was leaving, let alone why, until I overheard you two talking one evening."

Remus didn't back down. "I don't blame her for not telling you about her past, even if she could. You're cruel and insensitive to her. Besids that, telling you would compromise not only her mission, but all of our lives. That includes yours."

Severus didn't like that response. Lupin's eyes relayed honesty, but it did nothing to quench his desire to know what was happening. She was here on some sort of mission. He had gathered that much on his own, but he did not know for who or why. Something that Lupin said spiked his interest, though. Telling him would jeopordize his life. That meant it probably had something to do with him. Had she been using him, or was she there to save him?

"Go do the right thing, Snape," Lupin said, jolting him out of his thoughts.

Severus shrunk down and procketed the pensieve, exiting the room. The walk to his common room was reflexive and without thought. He entered his dormitory and was automatically greeted with a hurried "Oy, get dressed!" from a fellow seventh year Deatheater who was in full robes and clutching his mask. Severus didn't realize that he was to participate in this raid until a boy with the last name Parkinson filled him in, while dragging him through a secret passage that led to the Hogwarts exterior. From there, he knew they would walk beyond the gates, find a hidden spot to take off their cloaks, put on their masks, and disapparate.

Since Severus didn't know the location, he was left to close his eyes and hold onto Parkinson's forearm. Severus landed on his feet, ignoring the slight queezy feeling he had in his stomach. He was immediately pulled away by someone who was probably in the inner circle.

Looking around behind his mark and hood, he found himself in a house that looked as thought it had been abandoned for quite some time now. Yellowed wallpaper was hanging off the walls, and all the lights were smashed. The television that sat broken on the floor told him that ironically enough, this appeared to be a Muggle's home.

"Bow before your master," The Deatheater said before roughly pushing Snape inside the room. He walked back outside and shut the door. Through the paper thin walls, the last thing Severus heard was a warding charm. Severus panicked slightly as he got onto one knee and lowered his head.

"Do not worry, Severus," A voice hissed in an unhuman pitch. It was the Dark Lord. Severus could feel him penetrating his mind, and Severus hurriedly pushed thoughts of Hermione away, only leaving angry ones in their wake. "You're a bright young boy, Severus, and I know you understand why I had to keep this raid from you. Someone mentioned that you've had thoughts of betrayal, but I can see that this is not the case. Trevors will be punished."

Seveurs stayed kneeling, knowing better than to think he would be dismissed so soon.

"But, I do wonder what your relationship with Miss Granger is," The Dark Lord mused to himself, still searching Severus' mind. "I can see your potential to be a valuable asset, young Snape, but it would serve you well to remember that betrayal is equivalent to death. If I hear that you jeopordize my capture of Miss Granger in any way, you will die just as she will. Do you understand, boy?"

"Yes, Master." Snape replied, his eyes immediately hitting the ground again once he felt the Dark Lord leave his mind.

"Good. Now, go prepare for the raid. Lestrange has probably already begun filling in the others."

Severus felt the ward on the room shift, and he was transported to outside the house. The moon in the sky was in the same position it was in at Hogwarts, and that told Severus that they were indeed near Hogsmeade.

Severus paid little attention to the male Lestrange's battle plan, knowing that he would simply be responsible for warding houses while more experienced Deatheaters were inside killing wizards and witches who were unwilling to join. Later, once Dumbledore arrived, he would be engaged in battling any teachers and students who were recruited to help the light side.

Severus was surprised at how quickly the initial part of the raid was passing. Usually, he enjoyed the powerful feeling he got when someone pleaded for their life, and he crushed their hope with a green beam of light. Tonight, Severus felt disgusted with himself for each house he warded, each wizard he killed, each step he took closer to the central battle that was raging on.

"This is it," Someone beside him said with a twisted glee in their voice.

Before Severus had a chance to respond, he ducked out of the way of a rogue curse. He immediately noticed the wild black hair of Potter afterward and had his first real feeling of pleasure that night. Flicking his wand, he sent a stunner. Potter's glasses caught the moonlight, as he noticed the spell hurdling toward him. He easily deflected it and wordlessly countered it. Severus narrowly missed it by throwing up a shield.

This marked the beginning of a duel between the two. They dodged and threw curses at each other for the better part of an hour when Severus saw the bushy brown hair that could only mean Hermione. Beside her, Severus could make out Albus Dumbledore.

Severus didn't know what to do, but the onslaught of emotions including fear, anger, paranoia, guilt, and worst of all love, caused him to need to do _something_.

Severus jumped, rolling on the ground between a Deatheater and his Potion's professor dueling. He crawled past two bodies before getting up.

"Coward!" Potter bellowed from a distance, but Severus ignored him. His priority was Hermione.

Luckily, as fate would have it, he found Lupin, who had just knocked down an older Deatheater and was now looking for his next opponent.

"Duel me," Severus quietly demanded, throwing a harmless hex at the Marauder.

Lupin, recognizing the voice, understood and followed suite. "What are you going to do, Snape?"

"I don't know," Severus hissed in reply, keeping the duel going.

They were inching closer to Hermione, Dumbledore, and the Dark Lord, and Snape realized it was now or never. He had to do something. Something… something… _anything!_

"I apologize for this, Lupin," Severus said, genuinely meaning it. Before Lupin could reply, Snape jumped next to him.

With lightning speed, Severus' reflexes jumped into overdrive as he stunned Lupin and sent ancient magic barreling toward Hermione. The spell hit her square in the chest and looked like it came from Lupin.

And just like that, she was gone.

A/N: I had to end it right there and cut some things out because the chapter was just getting too long. Some loose ends will be tied up next chapter, but most will be left for the sequel. Why? You'll see...

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	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Well, I lied... and that doesn't mean there are more chapters because there are not. I lied about this being a chapter. It's more of a chapter/epilogue hybrid thing. Last chapter just had such an "end-of-story" feel to it with so many questions that I had to have some sort of "yeah-this-is-finished-but-it's-still-going-to-have-a-sequel" air about it. Hopefully, this accomplishes it. Thanks to my loverly beta from Granger Enchanted. She pretty much owns n00bs like Chuck Norris.

And since this is the last chapter of The Library, I'm going to make this author's note a tad longer. Guys, I'm just a teenager who's got boys, friends, (boyfriends), band, clubs, leadership, work, and whatever else going on in her life. If it wasn't for all your wonderful and encouraging reviews, I think I may have given up hope. No, I'm not peddling for reviews here, but I am giving credit where credit is due. I write for myself, but you guys give me motivation to pump out quality work faster. At least, I think it's quality stuff. I really have enjoyed writing this story more than all the other fictions I've written combined, and the irony in it all is that Remus is my favorite character. (le sigh) Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and stick around for the sequel. More info about that is on the bottom.

So, with this story done after exactly one year... Enjoy

Chapter 18

Severus Snape did not use words like "nice," but he did have to admit that it was nice to wake up at 11:45 a.m. on a crisp, clear, and ironically sunny Friday morning. For the first time in months, he had slept dreamlessly, the plaguing echo of deeds done wrong and loved ones scorned, finally giving him the peace he so desperately wanted and _needed_. Severus had slept without tossing and turning, his subconscious mind finally admitting that he had started to amend all the things he had done wrong and letting him rest without a constant, nagging guilt reiterating itself over and over again in his mind. Finally, his body rested, for the first time feeling something similar to being carefree and happy.

Though his mind was clear, that did not stop his head from screaming out in pain. He muscles ached from hours of trekking through various terrains into, during, and out of battles, his head spinning from a mixture of flashing lights emitted from wands and the screams, usually shrill shrieks of pain, coming from everywhere. He was content, but that didn't get rid of the pain.

Severus gathered his wits and reached to his bedside drawer. There, he found a pepperup potion, which he quickly downed. Feeling some relief, he realized he had not eaten since noon yesterday. He decided skipping a meal to get dressed was not a good idea. So, unkempt and disheveled, he rose out of the warm comforts of his bed and covered the pants and shirt he slept in, too tired to change after the raid, with a robe that was neither clean nor ironed.

At the moment, he didn't care that he didn't look pristine, in his usual ironed, button-up shirt, neatly folded pants, and an expensive, charmed robe. What mattered was satisfying himself and his stomach with some food, fish and chips preferably. Everything else was trivial right now and didn't matter.

Stifling a yawn, Severus walked down the corridor and out of the almost empty common room. Not even a step out the entrance, Severus was confronted by a very satisfied Hudson who smiled at him before taking his robe sleeve and pulling him through a solid looking stone wall.

"How may I be of assistance to you today, Hudson?" Severus asked in his usual displeased voice.

"Let's go to Hogsmeade for lunch, hero." The blue-eyed boy said in a song-like manner that bothered Severus more than he would let on.

Severus stopped in his tracks and raised an eyebrow. "Hero?"

"You saved Hermione. That's why you look so bloody smug walking down the corridor this morning," Hudson said with a satisfied smirk as he continued down the passage. Before Snape could say anything more, Bade added, "But don't worry; I'm probably the only one who knows… besides Dumbledore, but that man knows _everything_."

Severus' mind snapped into focus at the mention of Dumbledore's name. He had looked directly at him as he cast the spell. There was no doubt about it. He knew he'd have to talk to him today. That was the only thing he could do now that Hermione was gone.

"Three Broomsticks?" Hudson questioned happily, his eyes shining brighter than a super nova, as he snapped Severus out of thought.

Severus said nothing, but nodded, yawning again as they emerged through a trapdoor, that was concealed as a swamp.

The two men walked in a comfortable silence, until they approached their destination. With a swift walk, they entered the establishment, not expecting it to be roaring with laughter and cheer. Severus looked through the throng of wizards and witches to find the source. It was Lupin, Potter, Black, and Evans. He was not surprised to see Pettigrew missing. The rat was probably still recuperating from the one elderly wizard he managed to stun.

It also surprised Severus that through the darkness of what transpired last night, through the mourning of all the dead, including one of Hogwarts' own teachers, the light side still managed to celebrate the survivors and the small victory they achieved. The humanity and optimism of it all really struck him. And that surprised him most of all.

Hudson moved to a table that was directly in the view of the Marauders, leaving Severus with no choice but to follow. They sat down, deciding to wait until the unusually long line went down, before they ordered.

Hudson opened his mouth to start a conversation, just as Potter's voice rang out, "Shouldn't you be off whining about your loss, Snivvy?" James bellowed, using the cruel nickname he hadn't used since fifth year.

Severus almost groaned, knowing that his happiness couldn't last for too long, if Potter and friends had anything to do with it. He looked over to see Evans swat Potter on the head and Black glaring at him.

He had no will to respond to Potter's taunts today, and luckily enough, he didn't have to. Simultaneously, both Lupin and Hudson retorted with "Knock it off, James" and "Shove your ego up your arse, Potter," respectively. Severus kept a neutral face, while his defense spoke.

Potter looked at Lupin indignantly, as Evans patted his shoulder in sympathy while maintaining a smirk of her own that betrayed her true feelings. Potter noticed this and grabbed her hand. He pulled her with a quick jerk, causing her to fall into his lap. Potter quickly straightened her out and kept his arms tightly around her. She lightly protested for a few seconds before she heaved a sigh in defeat and relaxed in his grasp, letting her red hair fall over his shoulder, as she rested her head against his chest.

Severus felt jealousy in the pit of his stomach, but knew he had done the right thing. The Existo Remeo was ancient magic he'd discovered, through his mum's side of the family. When his grandmother died, she left all of her magical possessions to Severus. She never approved of her daughter marrying a muggle and said that she hoped Severus would help to purify the line by marrying a witch. Severus had been at her home, searcing through spell books, when he found a book of family magic. The ancient spells and charms he'd found were neither light nor dark and were completely undetectable. He quickly memorized the book. He'd taken his newfound knowledge of creating spells and made a plethora of his own.

He'd come into his first year knowing more dark and light magic than some graduates (contrary to popular belief, though, he was not a Death Eater then). He was practically pushed into the Deatheaters' arms, but that wasn't an excuse for him. He'd clearly made his own decision… just as he had last night, when he used that spell on her.

The spell's purpose was as straight forward as its translation. It was designed to make a person return home, where they should exist. Severus had had his suspicions that Hermione was of a different place and maybe even of a different time, and this confirmed it.

The idea that time travel could be so simple, astonished him and he found it hard to believe that it was possible. However, it fit with what Lupin said and what he'd overheard himself. He remembered one time that she'd shown him a picture of her two best friends, and one of them looked suspiciously like Potter. The only real difference was eye color. Potter's were the muddiest shade of brown that Severus had ever seen.

"Bade, Severus, why don't you join us?" Lily asked, snapping Severus out of his thoughts once again.

It was then that Snape realized that Hudson and Black had returned to their respective tables with food and drink. Snape glared at Hudson for not informing him of this fact. Hudson simply shrugged and smirked.

"I'll have to cordially decline the offer, Evans," Severus said, bowing his head.

He smirked when he saw Potter and Black sigh in relief. Evans and Lupin also sighed, but it was in disappointment for them. Clearly, Evans had been filled in by Lupin as to what happened. Severus, considered for a second thanking Evans for her invitation as a sort of peace offering, but stopped when he looked into her eyes. They were the same color as Hermione's friend's, and they also had the same fleck in them.

He quickly finished the simple meal and grabbed the butterbeer off the table top, "Come on; we don't belong here."

The trip back to Hogwarts was spent in light conversation talking about their futures. Hudson had surprisingly received an internship position at St. Mungo's. he was to become a Healer, by the time the four year program ended. Severus still didn't know what he wanted to do, but he knew he wanted it to involve the Dark Arts and Potions, possibly.

The subject changed quickly to family plans, and Severus automatically thought of Hermione. He'd evaded the subject long enough now, and he needed to do what he needed to do.

"I've something I've got to do," Severus said.

Hudson said nothing. He nodded, the twinkle in his eye, looking far too much like Dumbledore's for his liking. With a light smile on his face, Bade said, "You're doing what she'd want you to. Way to go, mate."

Then, he walked off, leaving Severus with nothing but his own thoughts and a long journey ahead of him.

He shook his head, shuddering from the cold that darkened his heart once again. He had lost her, even though the depths of his heart told him he'd see her again. He remembered the look in her eyes; it was plagued with a sad desperation, but somewhere past that, he could clearly see a glimmer of hope for the future. It told him that he would see Hermione Granger again. He trusted his judgment, but more than that, he trusted her. He thought back even further and remembered the promise he made to himself. He told himself that he would not analyze her. So, he wasn't going to analyze anything that happened in the past few hours. It wasn't up to him to figure out how she had left or why. He would simply trust the look she gave him, but that didn't erase that she was gone… or that he was alone.

But his life wouldn't end simply because of that. That glimmer in her eyes, the one she always possessed around him, he finally deciphered. It was hope and belief. She had believed in him and his decisions. She would trust whatever he did whether the world was against him or not. He knew he couldn't abuse that trust. He knew that while his life would not be an easy one, especially without her, he still had to fight to do what was just. He wanted her to be proud of the man he had become, when she came back into his life.

This was the only way he knew how.

His fist tightened, his nails digging into the palm of his hand until it almost bled. He knocked on the door where he had been standing for the past hour or so. Hearing a voice beckon him in, he almost glided through the door. His eyes were not covered by his long hair. His head was up, his chin high in defiance like he had seen _her_ do so many times over the past few months. Gods… he was only with her a few months. He shook the thought out of his head. He was here on a mission. He was a man with a plan, a man who would make things right, a man who would make her proud.

"I concede that you were correct in saying, that I am grossly like you, Sir. It took me far too long to admit that I do, indeed, need help. I am a proud man, but I do know when I am in over my head. I need help, Sir, to find a way to amend all that I have done. I am a guilty man with a guilty conscience and a vengeance to prove to myself that I am not the monster I've created. If there is one person who can help me, I know it is you. So, I've come for assistance."

Ignoring the twinkle in Dumbledore's eye, Severus sat down, knowing that this was what he needed to do for himself **and **for _her_.

End.

A/N: Once again, thanks to each and every single reviewer. Okay, while I know how I'm going to write the sequel (it's going to stay in Severus' point of view) and how to begin it, I do not quite have a specific plot in mind. So, who needs a plot? Just write a PWP! ...except not. I want the sequel to be very... modern. I want it to be very present time. The issue is that I would nowhere near get this story done before HPDH, and if Snape turns out to be a baddie, or worse... dead... I'm not sure how that would work out for me. So, as of now, I'm leaving the sequel off until after DH because I very much like to write in canon. If Snape happens to be killed off in DH... well... screw that because I love him too much. The same goes for Remus. Then, I'll write in AU, but that's worst case scenario. Plus, I need a little end of school break. You guys can handle a three or four month hiatus, right?

But then, I don't know. I'm really indecisive and worried about who Jo is going to kill off. I've already started working on the sequel, and it picks up right where this one leaves off... for Hermione. It'll still be in Severus' point of view, like I said, but it'll start off with Hermione back in her own time. We'll see if I start before DH comes out, but I definitely am going to take at least a one or two month break. Let me know what you guys think.

Feel free to keep in touch through email or AIM and definitely click the little author alert thing. The sequel can be standalone, but I'll recap The Library in the first chapter.

Thanks to:

**notwritten, Maddie50, Mother of Tears, mayadidi, Monnbeam, Moon Turnip, LadySnapey, Dragonmaster Kurai, kristina, An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin, JacintaMarina and maddie**

for the pretty nifty reviews

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